I Received an Amazing Email...and I'm going to share it with you...

Holy crap, last week was an emotional roller coaster ride for me.


As you know, (one of the things) that keeps me up at night is our situation at the border. In an effort to take action and help in any way I can, I decided to do a drive to collect in-kind donations for the Kino Border Initiative. I felt super excited about this! So I carefully crafted an email and sent it out to all my friends in SF last Saturday! Annnnnnnnd...CRICKETS! (Well--for the most part--one friend responded!)

I waited and still nothing. It is that strange feeling of putting yourself out there--I wasn't just voicing an opinion or even sharing something personal--I ASKED for something. That felt really raw and vulnerable. And the fact that nobody (except one) responded felt like personal rejection. I mean...really...I was spiraling downwards into a pool of self-pity. It was super fun to be around me!


Last Sunday I asked you guys to write me back and tell me how you're dealing with the overwhelm. I LOVED HEARING FROM YOU ALL! BTW--I'm still working my way through the responses but I promise I'll get back to all of you!

One email really blew me away. Check it out:

Randi Berry, Executive Director and Vice President of the The Indie Theater Fund, responded to my email with the following:

"I wanted to let you know about something I've been doing to try and make a difference. Something you can do too if you have the bandwidth. A few of us (it's now organically turned into hundreds of us, but it started with just a handful of us ) collected a bunch of supplies to donate to kids that were shipped here and are being housed in Harlem. We had such an overwhelming response we didn't want to stop. So we got in contact with an immigration attorney we heard on TV who was talking about a client, Yeni Gonzalez, who was separated from her three kids who are in NYC and she was being detained in AZ. we started a go Fund me for her. We posted her bail, got her out, did a drive share relay from AZ (since she can't fly without the right ID) and she arrives in NYC tomorrow night. We have a free place for her to stay, money for food, clothes and metro and will have a coordinated effort to accompany her to her appointments and meet ups with her three children, who she will now be able to see daily until they are released to her. Connected her to a Spanish speaking therapist etc."

We are working on a blueprint for what we did so it can be easily replicated over and over to get these children their freaking parents. So many people have reached out to help. So many pissed moms. Don't fuck with a pissed mom."


And then, when I texted her and asked if I could share her story here she responded with:

"You definitely can mention whatever you want. We've bailed three moms out so far. Fourth one is being fundraised for now. Check out the Now Politics video on my page. That's our group and two of my friends who are in NYC (I'm in Florida so couldn't be there) who have been doing a lot of the organizing right now. I've just arranged a team of Spanish speakers in Miami to help receive mom number 2 who's kids are here in foster care. Crazy time."

This is the video she mentioned in her text.



Randi--THANK YOU to you, your friends, and all the amazing humans who are SHOWING UP POWERFULLY and TAKING ACTION. I'm so inspired. I'm in awe.


Inspired by Randi, (and after some pep talks from friends) I decided not to give up on raising in-kind donations so I posted my request on Nextdoor.com. And guess what? PEOPLE ARE SHOWING UP! I've currently got bags and boxes of toiletry kits and men's and women's underwear (the things that are most in need currently) in my house! I'm going to send them out by the end of the month. I'm getting so much that I'm slightly concerned about the cost of shipping! And that's an awesome problem! AND--many of my friends did end up responding to that original email so really I just needed to be patient (not my best trait).

Maybe it's a small thing to do--sending supplies so that people can take a hot shower and shampoo their hair--but it does feel good to help. It feels a heck of a lot better than sitting around.

A woman came by today to drop off the toiletry kits she had meticulously put together and as we were talking about everything that is going on that is overwhelming us and keeping us up at night, we agreed that doing something--even the smallest thing--helps.

After all...small things add up.

I hope this is inspiring for you. There are so many good people out there doing good things. Please remember that the news is intentionally designed to give you an adrenaline rush and it aims to scare the crap out of you. There's lots of beauty out there that simply isn't being reported on.

I feel very warm and fuzzy about all the people on my newsletter list. I've coached so many of you and emailed with many more of you and I know how extraordinary you are. It's pretty awesome. Thank you. You definitely make the world a better place.

Sending love,


Children at the Border. This is Not Political. This is about Humanity.

Hello dear one. I am writing from a place of anger and despair today. I am writing about the situation at the border where children have been taken away from their mothers and fathers. This email doesn't (nor could it possibly) contain all my thoughts, ideas, or knowledge on this subject. I need to say that because you may feel I left something important out, or maybe don't go into enough depth. I'm sure both these things are true. Still, this is the best I can do today.

This is not a political crisis. This is a HUMANITARIAN crisis.

Every single morning my son climbs into bed and snuggles with me after he wakes up and we get to giggle and talk about the day ahead. I get to hold him and hug him. I get to read to him at night and tuck him into bed.

My son has the incredible luxury it seems, to feel SAFE. He gets to know where his parents are. He gets to be HUGGED by his parents. He has enough food to eat. He has a cozy bed to sleep in. He can walk out into the world and not feel unsafe or afraid.

My son has what parents want for their children. Love, safely, belonging...and freedom to dream of his future.

The thought of my son being taken away from me and placed into some huge, austere detention center rips my heart to shreds. The image of him all alone, terrified, confused, and wanting his mama kills me. The idea that he wouldn't be safe there--safe from verbal, mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse (all of which have been reported in these centers) shatters my soul.

All I have to do is think of one little seven year old, torn away from their parents, alone and afraid, and I crumple. It doesn't matter that it isn't MY CHILD. Children--ALL CHILDREN--need and deserve our protection.

Children are vulnerable by nature and incredibly susceptible to abuse. They look to adults to guide and protect them and it is that trust that enables people to hurt them.


And on the note of ALL CHILDREN needing and deserving our protection-I need to acknowledge the inherent racism and bigotry that is occurring at our borders. Make no mistake-it is easier for a lot of people to stomach this because these humans are "not like us."

The idea that there is a limit to compassion is dangerous.

I've read a lot of people online saying, "Well, Obama did this, too!" then others replying, "No, George Bush Sr. started this!" AS IF POINTING A FINGER IN BLAME WILL CHANGE ANYTHING. I have learned that this policy has been going on for decades in our country. It is in the news now because of the incredible escalation and high numbers at which is it occurring under our current administration. But I personally don't think it is helpful to point fingers on this. Whoever started it, whichever administration allowed it--they are all wrong and I hold them all accountable. I'm sick of the partisanship around this. Humans need to get in touch with their own moral compass outside of what party they vote for!

There's a lot I don't know about all of this. I am learning. Maybe you know more than me. Maybe you're learning, too. Awesome. The question becomes, WHAT CAN WE DO?


1) Call and write your US Representative and Senators and let them know how you feel. Do this even if you already know they are against this--they need to hear from their constituency so that they know it is something they should devote time and political will towards. Read this to find out how to call your members of Congress.

2) Speak up and stand up for what is right and good. Engage in dialogue. That said--if it is clear that someone isn't actually willing to have an actual dialogue it is okay not to engage. That's a boundary you should keep because otherwise you're going to become too despondent and cynical to have the energy to create the change you wish to create. But there are a lot of really good, caring people out there that just don't know but would be happy to know...they are dealing with their own crazy lives and maybe haven't had the emotional bandwidth to stop and think about this stuff. (I understand. God knows I often feel like hiding from these issues as they are so intense.)

3) Donate money. Here are some reputable organizations doing good work:

4) Collect in kind donations to send to groups. Call the organization and ask what they need before sending anything. Often a bag of toiletries in incredibly helpful (shampoo, conditioner, razor, soap). I am going to be organizing in kind donations in my community and sending them to the Kino Border Initiative (at least to start).


Our song for today is a repeat because I think of it as an anthem for doing good in the world. It's called Legacy and it asks the important question of what we want our legacy to be.

She sings:

What do you stand for?

What brings you to your knees?

What do you live for?

What are you dying to see?

What did you come here for?

And what will you leave?

When you're gone what lives on as your legacy?





Sending you all so much love.



Why this is CRUCIAL to understand.

I'm feeling a bit fiery today, just a heads up!

Basically, I'm enraged, outraged, fed up, scared, sick to my stomach, overwhelmed, depressed, fired up...etc etc etc...about what is going on in the world today. I'm seriously pissed off. The topics that set my off are pretty vast. Treatment of people of color and minorities, the blatant homophobia and transphobia, the abasement of the environment, the selling of women and children into sexual slavery, the modern slave trade of men, women, and children, the inequity of justice of poor people vs. rich (white) people, the gross inequity of wealth, the culture of blame that just seems to be the norm right now (accept personal responsibility you a**holes!), the fact that people are put into prison for possession of drugs yet companies that swindle the American public and cause millions to lose all they've saved for their entire lives get government bailouts...and on and on and on.

If you've been reading my emails or doing my programs then there's one thing you know I believe in and that's that WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I really strongly believe that. We are not powerless. We are not just casual observers. WE ARE CRUCIAL to the health and well-being of this planet and all the lives on it. I don't think we have to be in a position of great power to make a difference (although I do believe those in positions of great power should absolutely use that power for good) but I do think we need to go out there and make an effort to make a difference. I've said this before but I believe our greatest super power is KINDNESS. People can just roll their eyes at me when I say that. To those people I say: pay attention. Pay attention to how you feel when people are kind vs. how you feel when people are rude. It is small. It is simple. But it makes a massive difference.

Now...here's the thing:

I believe women are being called to rise. I know in my bones that this is necessary and crucial to the healing of the planet.

In these past few years, we have witnessed the suppression, violation and abuse of the feminine. I understand that that suppression, violation and abuse has always been there but it is truly being brought to the light in such obvious ways that it has actually felt like an invitation to rise up and say NO MORE.

In order to rise up powerfully, you first need to understand the systemic ways you have been held back. When you begin dismantling these paradigms internally, it inevitably leads to the dismantling of the collectively, setting all women free. 

So to this end, I'm going to start doing Facebook Lives in my Virtual Goddess Gathering group on what these paradigms are and how we can dismantle them. They are subtle. You know about some of them but I promise you, you can't see most of them because they are the water we are swimming in.

The first class I'm going to teach is on the "You're Not Good Enough" paradigm. It's going to be good! You think you know but I'm telling you--you don't know the half of it! AND WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS HOLDING YOU BACK. IT'S HOLDING YOU DOWN. And it is DEPRIVING THE WORLD of your FULL POWER. This class will be on FB Live on Thursday, May 31st at 5:30pm PDT. I want you to be there live BUT if you can't be, the FB Live will stay up in the group and you can watch it later.

IT IS THAT IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF. The health of this planet and the inhabitants of it DEPEND ON YOU understanding these bullsh*t lies that we've all been living in as if they were Truth.

The world is literally dying for the Feminine.

TO THE MEN ON MY LIST: I know most of you and I am so grateful for you. I know you to be part of the solution. THANK YOU for being our allies. WE NEED YOU. I still want you on my list because the masculine and feminine being out of balance in this world affects all of us. It hurts men, too. I'll write more on that another day.

So--WOMEN!! If you're ready to start breaking free, please sign up for the Virtual Goddess Gathering and join the FB group. The link to the group is in the welcome email.

I told you I was fired up!

No song today. But send me your suggestions, please!

Love love love and HOPE FOR OUR FUTURE,







Motherhood...and all the in-betweens

First and foremost, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the moms out there.

I really honor motherhood and all that goes with it. Frankly, it's by far the hardest job I've ever had. I've struggled with it. I've had some really shitty times with it. I've shamed myself because I didn't always feel those blissed out totally sacrificing and selfless vibes that our society and culture tells us motherhood is. I've talked to so many moms and I can tell you--that is a mythology I think we need to stop perpetuating because it's very damaging. But that's another story for another day!

What I'm trying to say it--holy crap--you deserve to be honored because raising children, while so wonderful and rewarding (truthfully the most wonderful and rewarding thing I've ever done), is also exhausting, often thankless, and very much unpaid :) Happy Mother's Day you beautiful women. I see you and I gain strength from you.

To those of you who are not mothers but want to be: this can be an especially painful day. I am holding you with love. I feel the cruelty of wanting a child so badly and not yet having that dream come true yet. Whatever you need to do today in order to take care of yourself (massage, hike, Netflix binge, ice cream, tears...) please do that. I wish I could take your pain away.

To the children that have two dads (or one just one dad): I'm just thinking about those kiddos that go to school and are surrounded by all the cultural trappings of Mother's Day...the discussions, the art projects...sometimes school assemblies...all for Mom. To all you kids and all you dads: YOU ROCK. Celebrate however the heck you want! And that art project? Dad will still love it.

To mothers who have lost their children: no words, just deep unfathomable pain in my heart. I love you. I am so sorry.

To children who have lost their mothers: I have been told by someone close to me that lost her mom, that no matter how old you are when you lose your mom, it feels like you're an orphan. This has got to be a painful day. I can't imagine the hurt that comes up. Sending you so much love.

To those of you who had SHITTY moms: for those with toxic moms this can be the annual holiday of dread. I hope you're able to grieve and I hope you're able to be with people you love and who love you.

To mothers that cannot be with their children today because they areincarcerated: the vast majority of you are in prison for nonviolent drug charges --and most of those charges are brought on to you because the man you loved gave your name to police in exchange for a more lenient sentence. Your sentence is often outrageously harsh (IMO) and it takes you away from your children, which greatly affects their lives and the fabric of our society as well. To you mamas, and to your children I send love.

"Studies have shown that removing mothers from their children is not only traumatic but also a precursor to a host of psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, shame, and guilt. In recent years, researchers have found evidence that maintaining connections with incarcerated parents can help lessen some of these effects" (Link to quote here)

To mothers who were deported while their children were away at school: you couldn't even say goodbye. Or maybe your children were there to witness their mother being hauled away. For many of you this is the country you grew up in and you know nobody in your native country anymore. You're alone, scared, and have no idea what the future holds. You don't know when or if you'll see your children again. I close my eyes and imagine your fear and despondency and it is so painful. I cannot imagine. If you, dear reader, believe in creating a migration process that honors human dignity, please check out the Kino Border Initiative.

To those of you who do not wish to have children: I am so annoyed with you and on your behalf that other people think they have the right to tell you what to do with your body and your life. I personally do not believe that all people need to have children and I applaud those that are clear about this for themselves. I hope you celebrate yourself today as well!


I am blessed to have an absolutely incredibly mother whom I love and admire. I feel lucky. THANK YOU, Mom! I am who I am because of you.

I'm also blessed to be the mother of an incredible 7 year old. Thank you, Beck, for teaching me every day what it means to love fiercely.

Today I am going out to a kind of high end Mexican restaurant (high quality ingredients, sort of fancy) that also has some of the best margaritas in SF! Scott (hubby), Beck (son), M (nickname--my stepdaughter), and Erin (my sister) and I are all going out. I'm excited. Cheers!

Mother by Ashanti

Mother by Ashanti

I would never let a tear fall from your eyes,
Cause everyting you are to me,I could never let you hurt inside,
You mean so much and I'm so thankful that your in my life,
And I appreciate your love and all sacrifice,
Without you by my side,I never could survive,
I wouldn't be the woman standing here before your eyes,
You taught me strength and you gave me guidance,
Whenever faith was lost you were there to find it,
And all because a mother's love is unconditional,
With all my heart and all my soul I want let you know.

That I thank you and I love you and
I will never place anyone above you,
Said I thank you and I love you,
And I could never ever place no one above you
You have given me life and I just want you to know,
That your the reason im here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what im saying.

See I've been blessed to be raised by a woman so strong,
Cuz even when I did things wrong,
You would show me just the way that I should carry on.
You kept me safe and you protected me with all you had,
And everytime I was in need you gave your very las
Without you by my side, I never could survive,
I wouldn't be the woman standing here before your eyes.
You taught me strength and you gave me guidance whenever faith was lost you were there to find it.
And all because a mothers love is unconditional,
With all my heart and all my soul I wanna let you know.

That I thank you and I love you and
I will never place anyone above you,
Said I thank you and I love you,
And I never place no one above you
You have given me life and I just want you to know,
That your the reason im here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what I'm saying.

I remember waking up early Monday mornings,
With my new dress and my new shoes, with the buckles on em
And you would kiss my face and say I love you baby,
And you would be right there to take all of my fear away.
And when he broke my heart you said it was his lost,
And not to think about about your better off with out him.
Remember when they said that I was never gonna make it,
You said it Shows and all you gotta do is go and take it.

Said I thank you and I love you,
And I will never ever place no one above you.
Said I thank you and I love you,
And I will never ever place no one above you.
See you have given me life and I just want you to know,
That your the reason I'm here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what im saying. x2

Love to all of you!







This is Me

How are you doing, Beautiful? If you read last week's post you know I was feeling a little low...I talked about "waiting it out" which is something I've really learned to do when things feel a bit hard.

I'm feeling much better! On the upswing! But now here's the rub--I've been sitting in front of my laptop for hours writing and deleting, writing and deleting...because basically I'm like, "What the f**k do I want to say this week???!!" It's not that I don't have any ideas! I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS! Ha! And that is kind of freezing me up!

Curious what my ideas are? Here's a little brain dump for you:

  • Women's hormones and the patriarchy.
  • History of the Goddess and how the church systematically repressed positive female images through hundreds of years of propaganda (that lead to what many scholars call a gender genocide with the burning of "witches").
  • How women's obsession with our looks and our bodies is absolutely a tool to hold us down and hold us back--as if the value we bring to the world is how we look! (It was not always this way. There is another way!)
  • The fact that woman are told we are crazy and unpredictable but how that is total bullsh*t.
  • The rules we are taught as women (for example "Everyone else's needs are more important than yours") and how those rules are not even things we are aware of and yet they totally define our lives, rob us of our own personal desires, subjugate us, keep us feeling guilty, and absolutely hold us back.
  • How the construct of the patriarchy has diminished the feminine and that as a result the world is wildly out of balance and we are, in fact, destroying it.
  • Fear and love. We are either acting from fear or coming from love. This is everything.

So many other things. I need time to sort through them all and figure out how and even why I want to talk to you about them.

EVERYTHING in my heart is about busting out of these chains that bind us as humans, so we can BREAK FREE, LIVE FREE, AND HELP HEAL THE WORLD.

Who am I and what do I want to do with my life? This is a question that so many of my friends (men and women alike) and clients are asking. I mean, TRULY WHO AM I??? Are we even allowed to be asking that? I believe if we're not asking that, we aren't asking the right questions. Everything comes from that starting point.

So in the spirit of BREAKING FREE I'm sharing this with you today because, honestly, this video MOVES ME. I cry. It is such pure joy and freedom and busting out from the chains that bind us! I hope you feel the same way. The little speaking exchange at the very beginning just gets me in the heart.

This is Me with Kaela Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble




I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are

But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh

Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades and
Reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become)

I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
This is me

and I know that I deserve your love
(Oh-oh-oh-oh) 'cause there's nothing I'm not worthy of
(Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
This is brave, this is proof
This is who I'm meant to be, this is me

Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I'm gonna send a flood
Gonna drown them out
This is me


Love you,


I Want to Get Better

This is short and sweet. I've been feeling a little bit low lately. It happens to the best of us. The difference at this point in my life is that I really know how to take care of myself when I'm feeling this way, so that's such a good thing. I also know it will pass. A lot of times when I'm feeling down, not inspired, not seeing the rainbow at the end of the tunnel (or whatever that expression is), I can tell I'm just showing up daily but that there's a whole part of me "waiting it out." You know...sometimes there's really nothing to do but wait.

I think we spend a lot of our lives trying to force stuff. Especially nowadays. We try and force our bodies into a specific shape, we try and force our lives to look a certain way, have our careers be a specific thing, earn a specific amount of money...but I really think we have forgotten how to just SIT BACK AND WAIT. Waiting and observing can have it's own sort of deliciousness. And it's such a relief not to have to PUSH!

So on that note, I'm sharing a song that perks me up! Do you know this song? I especially appreciate that Donna from Parks and Rec is in the video (picture below). Okay--it isn't actually Donna! It's Retta, who plays Donna. I love them both :)


Hope you have an AWESOME week!

And if things aren't awesome...wait them out. Things will get better.




















Women, Our Bodies, and Beauty

I was talking to a colleague the other day:

"Women don't want to feel beautiful. They just want to lose weight. My heart breaks every time I hear this. They only allow themselves to feel beautiful (briefly) if they are 'perfect'...but 'perfect' really never comes. Most days women just beat up on themselves."

I teach women HOW TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL. But I've literally had women tell me they'd just rather lose weight. I believe the world is dying for the Feminine right now. Women need to throw off the shackles of body and beauty image and take their rightful place at the table--to be IN THEIR POWER--not worrying about their thigh gap.

We are only operating at a fraction of our possibility.

My dear, beautiful women: the reason you don't feel good in your body is NOT because you don't have a beautiful body--it is because you've NEVER been taught HOW to feel good in your body. We women, almost from birth, have only been taught how to fee BAD in our bodies.

Do you get that? Do you get that the water you've been swimming in is poison to your sense of well-being? (And by the way, this is by design.)

Our bodies are a battle ground and we take on that battle ourselves. We subjugate ourselves. We beat our bodies into submission.

Transformation occurs when we see the paradigm we are living in for the abuse and oppression that it is and we reject it. We claim our bodies as our own. We recognize their magnificence and we recognize the years of abuse that we and society have heaped upon them. From this place we can learn to adore and appreciate our bodies. And from this place everything begins to shift: what we put into our bodies and what we put onto our bodies becomes an act of beauty, respect, and adoration. How we move is different. How we hold ourselves is different We are in tune with ourselves. We are embodied and no longer disconnected.

Women are good at love.

Love is the most radical act of all.

Start with yourself.


SOUL SONG SUNDAY. THIS IS POLITICAL. Watch this, listen to this, like it's your job.

Mary Lambert - Body Love (Part 1 & 2)


Mary Lambert - Body Love (Part 1 & 2) Lyrics

I know girls who are trying to fit into the social norm
Like squeezing in last year's prom dress
I know girls who are low rise, mac eye shadow, and binge drinking
I know girls that wonder if they're disaster and sexy enough to fit in
I know girls who are fleeing bombs from the mosques of their skin
Playing Russian roulette with death; it's never easy to accept that our bodies are fallible and flawed
But when do we draw the line?
When the knife hits the skin?
Isn't it the same thing as purging
Because we're so obsessed with death
Some women just have more guts than others

The funny thing is women like us don't shoot
We swallow pills, still wanting to be beautiful at the morgue
Still proceeding to put on make-up
Still hoping that the mortician finds us fuckable and attractive
We might as well be buried with our shoes and handbags and scarves, girls
We flirt with death every time we etch a new tally mark into our skin
I know how to split my wrists to reveal a battlefield too
But the time has come for us to reclaim our bodies

Our bodies deserve more than to be war-torn and collateral
Offering this fuckdom as a pathetic means to say,
"I only know how to exist when I am wanted."

Girls like us are hardly ever wanted, you know
We're used up and we're sad and drunk and
Perpetually waiting by the phone for someone to pick up and tell us that we did good
Well, you did good.

I know I am because I said, I am. [3x]
My body is home [2x]
I know I am because I said, I am. [3x]

Try this
Take your hands over your bumpy love body naked
And remember the first time you touched someone
With the sole purpose of learning all of them
Touched them because the light was pretty on them
And the dust in the sunlight danced the way your heart did
Touch yourself with a purpose
Your body is the most beautiful royal
Fathers and uncles are not claiming your knife anymore
Are not your razor, no
Put the sharpness back
Lay your hands flat and feel the surface of scarred skin
I once touched a tree with charred limbs
The stump was still breathing
But the tops were just ashy remains
I wonder what it's like to come back from that
Because sometimes I feel forest fires erupting from my wrists
And the smoke signals sent out are the most beautiful things I've ever seen

Love your body the way your mother loved your baby feet
And brother arm wrapping shoulders, and remember
This is important

You are worth more than who you fuck
You are worth more than a waistline
You are worth more than beer bottles displayed like drunken artifacts.
You are worth more than any naked body could proclaim in the shadows,
More than a man's whim or your father's mistake
You are no less valuable as a size 16 than a size 4
You are no less valuable as a 32a than a 36c
Your sexiness is defined by concentric circles within your wood
It is wisdom
You are a goddamn tree stump with leaves sprouting out

How to Make a Difference

Making a difference in the world is something I'm passionate about. I personally believe that in the heart of every human is a desire to make things a little better, whether we own that impulse or not. For some people, especially in today's day and age, the state of things seems so overwhelmingly impossible that they build a wall up around that impulse and become apathetic--but underneath it all, that drive and desire is still there.

My mom subscribed to National Geographic Magazine for pretty much my entire childhood. I vividly remember being exposed to some harsh realities of the world from a young age--it was easy to be drawn in by whatever the cover photo was for the issues. There's some really specific moments I recall. One in particular was learning about the Berlin wall and how families were separated...how people would try and escape over the wall and would be shot and left to die in the space in between East and West. I still cannot understand that kind of brutality but as a young kid it felt even more incomprehensible. And then, I learned about the Holocaust...

Since I was a kid and prone to magical thinking, I set to work trying to solve the problems of hate and war. My solution at the time was to find a genie and be granted three wishes. (Man. I wish it was that easy!) Then the problem became what exactly to wish for. Because my mom pointed out that "Wishing for peace isn't enough. Because what if the price of peace was that people were under a tyrannical government or dictator that oppressed people?" So my work was really cut out for me! The one wish I came up with that felt as fool-proof as possible was, "I wish that all people of the world held respect for the lives and way-of-life of all other people in the world." I still think that's a pretty good wish!

As I got older and continued to learn about all the ways that humanity can act in horrific ways, I became overwhelmed...and would teeter dangerously close to becoming apathetic. Or cynical. Can you relate? Anyone? Since I figured out I wasn't going to find a genie and get three wishes, I needed to reassess things!

When I got still and paid attention, what I truly understood is that we make a difference in the world EVERY DAY by being kind; by being good; by listening--truly listening; by witnessing--truly witnessing; by connecting.

In today's culture we are taught to GO BIG or GO HOME. And I see that extending into all aspects of our lives, including "making a difference." I hear people lament that they can't put a dent in the problems of the world and then promptly give up. Or worse--decide it is a dog eat dog world and they are just in it for themselves.

By misunderstanding what it means to make the world a better place, we miss out on countless opportunities to do just that. By incorrectly thinking we need to massively shift things in order to make a difference, we stop ourselves from seeing our true potential--to powerfully affect those around us (friends and strangers) every single day.

If you doubt me, simply start paying attention to how you are affected by others you come into contact with throughout the day. And not just people you physically see and talk to, but words you read (a book, a magazine, a piece of graffiti) as well. How about social media posts? Are you affected by those? Which ones make you feel good and which ones throw you into despair? How does that affect the rest of your day?

Now imagine the billions of people on this planet. So many of them -- far too many -- receive not kindness. They don't get a smile, they don't get a meal, their reality is invalidated, their struggles are minimized...practice your empathy by remembering the moments in your life when your real pain was trivialized or you were simply told your feelings are wrong. It's painful. Now imagine if you were validated, affirmed, smiled at, encouraged, shown kindness in your darkest moments...you would be different. The world would be different.

I believe it is a fatal error not to recognize that the power to make the world a better place lies within each and every one of us simply by making a difference one moment, one person, at a time.

If this feels empowering to you, please let me know your thoughts in the comments!

NOW!!! Soul Song Sunday!

'm definitely having fun with this one! On the theme of love and how it makes everything better, I was reminded of this song from the 80s. Oh boy. THE VIDEO. It's sooooooooooooo dated! I mean, the video alone makes me smile and giggle! But that doesn't take away from the general awesomeness of this song! I hope you enjoy it!

Love & Pride by King



Love & Pride by King


That's what my heart yearns for now - love and pride.
That's what my heart yearns for now - love and pride.

Start your journey early or maybe later
get your boots on

Look for rainbows
it's cloudy

Take your hairdryer
blow them all away.

In you I've found a story I want to keep hearing.
In you I see all colours
not just black or white.
In you I find a reason and hope for all dreamers

You are my fill
you're my supply of love and pride.
That's what my heart yearns for now - love and pride. . . .

that's just being.
wanting and taking

more love and more pride.
In you I've found a story I want to keep hearing. . . .

I'm taking it round the world - some love and pride.
That's what my heart yearns for now - love and pride. . . .
That's what my heart yearns for now - love and pride. . . .

Women, Self Care, and Food.

Many people reached out to me a bit worried because I didn't write on Sunday. Thank you for your love :)

What happened was a mix of family craziness tossed in with travel combined to create a perfect storm of extra-busy plus a little overwhelm. And I decided it was okay to take care of myself first, which meant not writing the newsletter. It isn't that I'm not committed to reaching out--I'm SO COMMITTED. But my first commitment is to my self care. I've learned the hard way that if I don't honor my needs, things really go to hell in a hand basket quite quickly. And if I'm depleted, then I have nothing to give and my family, friends, and work and all will suffer.

Women, self care, and food. Women are incredibly hard on themselves. Our culture has carefully trained us to be this way. We are taught to believe our happiness is connected to the happiness of others. If our happiness is connected to the happiness of others that means we work tirelessly to take care of the needs of those around us and if we aren't doing this for even a moment, we feel GUILTY. Even the most aware among us fall prey to this guilt.

We work tirelessly for the happiness of others while posting social media memes declaring, "HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB" or similar sentiments. HA!

We post those memes and still don't recognize that our happiness is indeed connected to WHAT IS INSIDE US. What I mean by that is: OUR DREAMS, OUR DESIRES, OUR IDEAS, OUR PASSIONS. We are SO QUICK do dismiss our desires, dreams, and passions. That voice says, "Who am I to want that for myself?" or, "If I follow my dreams I'll be a terrible mom." or "I'll never know enough or be enough to follow that dream." or even worse, "I'm an idiot for even thinking about that!"

Guess what? When we are committed to the happiness of others and we deny our own brilliance, we live in a low level of apathy because "...none of it matters anyway." It keeps us in a place of not wanting more while simultaneously apologizing for wanting things.

When we give, give, give and go, go, go, we are depleted and we end up resentful. Because we feel guilty doing things for ourselves (and because, ultimately, we are not fully expressed as human beings) THE ONLY THING WE CAN RECEIVE FOR OURSELVES IS FOOD AND ALCOHOL.

We are so depleted, the only thing left are the Oreo cookies in the cupboard. The cookies are 100% there for us. They will ALWAYS fill us up. They never let us down. And, best of all, no one will fault us for eating them. They will, however, fault us for not being super thin (or even too thin--seriously, we cannot catch a break) but that's another topic for another email. The point is, EATING is about the only socially acceptable way women have of nourishing themselves!

No wonder we all have such disordered eating habits--disordered physical habits and mental habits, too. And this is yet another way that we are kept apathetic.Listen--this is political. All these stories we are told about what it means to be a "good" woman, mother, daughter, sister, friend in this world HOLD US BACK and KEEP US DOWN. And let there be no doubt--they are designed to do that.

Why? Because women are POWERFUL. I'm not saying we are more powerful than men and that men suck etc...if you're going there in your mind I invite you to simply stop thinking of others just for a moment and consider YOU. Consider YOUR LIFE. Your dreams, hopes, desires...and I mean the dreams and desires that you never even say allowed for fear you'll be judged.

Women are powerful and we have big dreams. We have big solutions to the problems we face. When we allow ourselves to be fully expressed, to own our power unapologetically, and to step into our dreams...WHOA. THE ENTIRE WORLD BENEFITS. Our families benefit. Our friends benefit. WE BENEFIT.

The fact that we feel guilty, the fact that we go, go, go without taking care of ourselves, the fact that really weird and crazy expectations on how we look, what we say, and what we do is something we have bought into is not our fault. It's not men's fault either. This system has been in place for thousands of years. We are the fish in the water--we don't even know we are in water because we don't know anything different.

To be clear, obviously many women and men know there's a different way. But even those men and women continue to understand the ways in which the current cultural paradigm has hurt us and holds us back in deeper ways. And, as you might be able to see, we are in the midst of a powerful cultural awakening in general. It is a very exciting time to be alive! But we all have stuff that we don't know that we don't know. Now is the time to learn a different way of being.

Where do we start? So many of us have not really taken the time to truly ask ourselves what it is we desire. It can be a scary question. It can also be challenging to answer because if we rarely ask it, that muscle is weak and we really aren't sure of the answers!

Here is an exercise for you to start working on this question. It's deceptively simple. I recommend using this as a journal prompt for 5 - 7 days in a row...just set a time and free-write what comes up for you every day. See how things change at the end of 7 days. Then keep up the practice as much as you'd like to--every day or once a week...trust yourself to know how often you need to do this.

EXERCISE: What are 5 things that you would like in your life?

Separate out what you would truly like from what you think is possible! Allowing yourself any feelings or emotions that arise out of the desires that you may have previously “failed at” or “succeeded at not having” for weeks, months or decades.

Exclude the things that you no longer want. You can still write them down, but just flip it so that you are replacing the unwanted state with what you would like to experience instead.

As always, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU! And I also invite you to join the Virtual Goddess Gathering, where like-minded women show up to support each other in creating change in their lives and the world.

Sending so much love your way,


How Overeating Keeps You Safe


Quick question--are you clicking on the songs and letting them wash over you so that joy permeates your week? Just checking...because music truly does make a difference. Don't forget to send me suggestions for songs that will light our fire and get our week off to a good start!

Okay. Back to this overeating thing. There's so many aspects to food and how we treat it. Food is important, obviously. We need it to stay alive, unless you're abreatharian. Food is also family, celebration, togetherness, happiness, sadness, loneliness, memories, and so much more. But today I want to talk to you about one aspect of food that you may be experiencing without even knowing it: overeating to keep you safe.

Emotional eating almost without exception is overeating. We eat more than we need, we eat when we're not hungry, and we in general eat for reasons that have nothing to do with physical nourishment but everything to do with emotional nourishment. Unfortunately that "nourishment" usually means numbing out. We numb out so that we don't have to deal with emotions that are incredibly uncomfortable. Anxiety, sadness, stress, anger, misery, self-loathing, boredom...just to name a few.

When we overeat, the vast majority of us gain weight. When we gain weight, we tend to beat up on ourselves. We think we look bad. We think we're gross. We also think we're not good enough (because society has been feeding us a message that thin is best since we were born and even if we understand that there is just so much destructive BS in that point of view, it's pretty hard to escape it without some serious work. And BTW, we need to do that work and I'm going to take you there). When we think we're not good enough, we stop living our lives fully. We hide out. We wait...we wait to buy nice clothes, we wait to ask for a raise, we wait to go for our dream job, we wait to start looking for a romantic partner, we wait to have sex with out partner...we even wait to go on vacation because, you know, if we're not thin we're not allowed to go on vacation. Seriously. WE HIDE OUT.

Even if we do some of the things we want to, it is only after a cheerleading sesh from friends and family so that we can have the courage to go to that party, or whatever it is we want to do. The thing we want to do could be big or small, but it just comes with an extra layer of HARD when we're in that mindset.

So--we're all miserable with our weight gain (and I've had clients that feel this was even with just 5 extra pounds. It's never really about how we look and ALWAYS ABOUT HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES.) and we're HIDING OUT. On the surface it all seems so bad. But here's the thing. When we are HIDING OUT we are SAFE. There's a reason for everything. We don't have to try. EVERYTHING IS ON HOLD. I mean, what feels better than sitting at home, binging on Netflix and knowing that it doesn't matter because you look like crap and nothing good will come of heading out into the world. It's sooooooooo safe safe safe and cozy. That extra weight and corresponding self-criticism becomes such a lovely security blanket.

Guess what? When our subconscious/critter brain feels all safe and cozy, it is going to do all it can to KEEP US THERE! That's why when you set a goal for yourself, and you're walking towards that goal with confidence--probably even making progress--and all of a sudden you snap back into old patterns and are back where you started. Your subconscious/critter brain is all about survival. And staying at home, hiding out, eating popcorn/ice cream/cookies/whatever is soooooooo much safer than getting out there in the world, showing up powerfully and asking for a raise/going for your dream job/putting yourself on a dating app/buying clothes that might mean you get some attention...omg, no. That stuff is all really really scary because going for what we want is vulnerable.

In the week ahead, start noticing all the habits you have that keep you safe. In this context I mean behavior that essentially holds you back in your comfort zone (we applaud the part of us that knows how to keep us safe and out of danger). The big rule about this is you notice without judgement. Instead of judging yourself, GET CURIOUS. Curiosity is playful, fun, and nonjudgemental. Judging ourselves is not the way to go--that just has us eating more ice cream.

I'd truly love to hear from you about this--do you notice ways you sabotage yourself to keep yourself safe/hold you back from the juicy life you desire and deserve? It could be around food, which is such a common one, but it could be around other habits as well! Pay attention! Hit reply to this email and let me know!!

Now...for your song to get you into your groove for the week! We're going old school today to a woman that was a trailblazer, Lauryn Hill.

Definitely read the lyrics to this one--part call to activism, part existential inspiration. It's one of my all time favs.

Everything is Everything by Lauren Hill



Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

I wrote these words for everyone who struggles in their youth
Who won't accept deception, instead of what is truth
It seems we lose the game
Before we even start to play
Who made these rules? (Who made these rules?)
We're so confused (We're so confused)
Easily led astray
Let me tell ya that

Everything is everything
Everything is everything
After winter, must come spring
Everything is everything

I philosophy
Possibly speak tongues
Beat drum, Abyssinian, street Baptist
Rap this in fine linen, from the beginning
My practice extending across the atlas
I begat this
Flipping in the ghetto on a dirty mattress
You can't match this rapper slash actress
More powerful than two Cleopatras
Bomb graffiti on the tomb of Nefertiti
MCs ain't ready to take it to the Serengeti
My rhymes is heavy like the mind of sister Betty (Betty Shabazz)
L-Boogie spars with stars and constellations
Then came down for a little conversation
Adjacent to the king, fear no human being
Roll with cherubims to Nassau Coliseum
Now hear this mixture, where Hip Hop meets scripture
Develop a negative into a positive picture

Now everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

Sometimes it seems
We'll touch that dream
But things come slow or not at all
And the ones on top, won't make it stop
So convinced that they might fall
Let's love ourselves and we can't fail
To make a better situation
Tomorrow, our seeds will grow
All we need is dedication
Let me tell ya that

Everything is everything
Everything is everything
After winter, must come spring
Everything is everything

Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

The Year of the Woman

In the elections of 1992 something happened that had never happened before--four women were elected to the United States Senate. Senator Patty Murray (D-WA), Senator Carol Moseley Braun (D-IL), Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), and Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) joined Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) and Senator Nancy Kassebaum (R-KS) to bring the the total number of women United States Senators to six. (California also set the record of being the first state to ever have TWO female senators.) I remember this time so vividly. It was so exciting for me to witness SIX WOMEN in the US Senate! It felt quite tremendous, really!

Of course, looking back I think Mikulski really had it right, remarking that “Calling 1992 the ‘year of the woman’ makes it sound like the ‘year of the caribou’ or ‘year of the asparagus. We’re not a fad, a fancy, or a year.”

Today, in 2018, there are now twenty-two women senators in the US Senate and eighty-three women serving in the US House of Representatives and it definitely doesn't feel remarkable when we hear that a woman is running for the office of senator or representative anymore.

I've been thinking about The Year of the Woman a lot lately, and just how far we have come from that banner year. Of course--we have a long way to go, too. But everywhere I look I see women stepping into their power, showing up where once they were hiding, taking on the status quo and redefining success, power, support, inclusion and so much more. It's truly exciting!

March is International Women's Month...another reason why I've been thinking a lot about The Year of the Woman. I personally think women are da bomb and I believe, now more than ever, that we are being called to take our place at the table and create change in our communities in the world. Side note: LOVE this uplifting story of a group of women strangers making a difference at the airport.

Despite the headlines of 1992, I don't think we've actually experienced The Year of the Woman...yet. But it does feel like it's on the way! The tipping point is near!

In honor of women everywhere, let's blast this song from the rooftops.

Run the World (Girls) Beyoncé


Have a kickass week!

And give some props to the women out there making it all happen!

You Don't Have a Food Problem

HAPPY SUNDAY! Guess what? YOU DON'T HAVE A FOOD PROBLEM! Aren't you relieved?!!

You may not be relieved. You may think I don't know what I'm talking about. You may have a list of reasons that prove that I seriously am clueless. That list might include:

  • I eat too much (see, food problem, duh!)
  • I crave sugar and other food that is "bad" for me (again..food = problem! Hello!)
  • I'm overweight and want to lose weight but I still eat too much! (food)
  • I seriously don't know what to eat to make me lose weight. It's a problem (again...food)
  • I am STRESSED about food. I mean--it takes up a lot of my headspace. Like, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT???! (food)

There's many many more additions to this list but I know you have things to do today so I'll trust that you get the picture. AND. I'm telling you--you don't have a food problem.

Disclaimer: if you're eating total crap all day every day (and by crap I mean highly processed food, fast food, nothing made at home. food laden with additives, little to no fruit or vegetables etc..) then YES. YOU HAVE A FOOD PROBLEM. And you most likely have some health problems, too. And if you don't have health problems now, you will eventually. So to be clear--when I am saying you don't have a food problem this kind of eating is the exception.

For the rest of you--those of you that eat a lot of whole foods, cook at home often, and avoid processed foods as much as possible (except when you don't)--you don't have a food problem! YAY!

What you have is a LIFE problem. Yes. You do. You're obsessing about food instead of obsessing about life. You're not letting joy be your guide. You're seeing all the stuff that isn't working and not noticing all the stuff that's going right. You're also plugged into some really damaging belief paradigms around how you're supposed to LOOK and that alone can cause you to not be living your life as fully and joyfully as you have the right to.

Food is a SYMPTOM. Food covers up stuff for us. It numbs us out. It also keeps us safe (if we have a few extra pounds on we are safe from getting unwanted attention, for example).

If you find yourself being even mildly obsessed with what you eat, you are robbing yourself of joy. And you are also IMMEDIATELY putting yourself into aDEPRIVATION MINDSET because the obsession about food is really about what you can and cannot eat. And once we say, "No more sugar!" all we want is sugar. ALL WE WANT IS SUGAR. I mean, we may be fine for a little bit but then, when we can't take it anymore, we are going to eat the sugar--but not just *some* sugar. We're going to eat A LOT of sugar because, you know, f**k it! I might as well eat a second piece of cake, a third brownie, or whatever it is.

So how do you address this? There's many ways to start FREEING yourself from you "food problem". One of the most important things to do, I believe, is to figure out what you're using food for. What is food standing in as a substitute for in your life?

The way to do that is simply by starting to pay attention. If all of a sudden you find yourself craving sugar, or craving chips, or even just feeling hungry when you know you're not really hungry...slow things down and start to see what was going on in your mind or life the moments before the craving hits. Sometimes this is hard, but keep at it. You'll start to figure it out. (Yes, I know I've said this before but you guys--THIS IS IMPORTANT! I probably repeat this in the future so be prepared.)

Once you start to uncover the stuff you're covering up with food THEN YOU CAN START TO LOOSEN THOSE SHACKLES!

My story (Reader's Digest Version): when I started Vibrant Living I noticed I started "eating emotionally" more often. I couldn't figure out why. I wasn't working in the job that was sucking the life out of me anymore, I was doing what I wanted to do...so why was I overeating? Short version is this: I got a coach and did some deep work and found it it was directly related to an incident when I was 5 years old in which I decided, "If I speak my authentic truth, people yell at me, I upset people, so I need to stay small and hide and never be fully expressive of who I am." Really. I did figure that out and it was AWESOME. Because every time I sat down to write a newsletter, I would CRAVE CEREAL. And then I would eat like three bowls of cereal. You guys. OMG. Can you imagine how crappy I felt afterwards? REALLY CRAPPY. And the WHY I was doing it was because writing my newsletter meant EXPRESSING MY AUTHENTIC SELF and that scared the crap out of me so of course I needed to NUMB OUT! This is the very short version of things. I'm going to write another email telling you more details. But I wanted you to see the underneath the "why"...awareness creates opportunity for action. Getting aware is imperative.

The coach I worked with was trained in the Transformational Coaching Method (which uses NLP and Family Systems work to uncover all this crazy stuff!) and I was blown away and got certified as a Master Transformational Coach as well because I wanted to make sure I could help people change their lives the way mine was changed. That's important for you to know if you're considering working with me!

Okay, Elijah! Let's get ONTO THE JOY! SOUL SONG SUNDAY!!

THIS SONG IS PURE JOY! My friend (and past client!), Randi Berry, suggested sharing this song with all of you and I LOVE IT. It's been called, "...one of the most joyful songs ever recorded."

A note on the lyrics: You may try hard to decipher some of the words in the song--you may even think you know what they are, but they are actually just made up! Michael Glabicki said in an interview that the lyrics aren't supposed to make rational sense. "I was in the process of coming up with lyrics, and it just sounded so good and felt so right that it had a meaning of its own that you couldn't make better by making it a word. So I left it."







Taking Imperfect Action!

Have you ever messed up? And have you ever let the fear of messing up STOP YOU from doing things you want to do?

I think most of us have had those experiences at some point in our lives.

Well...I MESSED UP! I forgot to send my regular Soul Song Sunday email this morning! No Sunday wisdom from me, no inspirational song to lift your spirits and set the tone for the week ahead. Sad! When I realized I hadn't written or sent the email I felt such a tight constriction in my throat and a sinking in my stomach. I had a moment of, "I suck! Everyone is going to think I'm so lame! How could I have forgotten?!" Of course, the reality is that probably NO ONE noticed that the email wasn't delivered this morning! You all have busy lives! And giving myself that crappy inner talk was not helpful at all.

Happily that mood lasted less than a minute. I've become very good at walking myself through that negative hyperbole that can come up. My next thought was, "Obviously, the email will just go out later today." And then I thought, "How can I turn this into a positive?"

After my incredibly challenging year last year, I learned the life-changing lesson that when I find myself spiraling down into the negative that I need to STOP and start NOTICING WHAT IS GOING RIGHT. That was such a powerful turn-around for me. I would stop several times a day and just start naming all the things that are going RIGHT in my life...I have running water, I have hot water, I have indoor plumbing (I'm super into my indoor plumbing in general!) I have food in my refrigerator, I'm healthy, I have coffee, I have an iPhone, I have a chair that I can sit in and drink my coffee and text a friend on my iPhone...on and on. Seriously, within a week of starting that practice I was happier than I'd been in years. I kept it up and I really have created some different neural pathways in my brain of how I see the world. Our brains are SO SO COOL. We really can re-route how we experience life.

What is going RIGHT this morning: my son is healthy, I am healthy, my husband is on a plane headed home after being gone since Thursday (I always miss him terribly when he's gone), I have a roof over my head, I am safe, my child is safe, I have a delicious Americano that I made on my espresso machine that was a gift from my husband two years ago and is the gift that keeps on giving, I have amazing and dear friends, I have freedom, I can vote, I have access to medical care if I need it, my 2000 Toyota Camry still drives well even thought it has 194,000 miles on it and it is PAID FOR so I don't have a car payment!...and on and on and on...so really, life is AWE-SOME.

So I stopped freaking out about the newsletter and decided to take IMPERFECT ACTION. I wrote the email late and assumed it would reach everyone's inbox in the absolute perfect moment. :)

BTW--I think the reason I didn't get the newsletter done is that I had a wonderful time with friends at their home last night. Great food, great conversation, and great friendship. I was at the home of my friends, Bill and Sharon, which is this cool, quirky place in the Mission District. They are super interesting people. Bill is one of those humans that gets really interested in how things work and that shows up in all sorts of ways including cooking. He had jars of pickled green tomatoes and jars full of Meyer lemons in the process of getting pickled...he had crates of grapefruits (it was what he asked for for Christmas) and he was fresh squeezing grapefruits for us. In the garage he has an actual lathe. I could go on. And the other couple there are my friends, Manna and Arvind who are from India and they are warm and smart and funny and always good to be around. We had great conversations around Indian food and the differences in different regions of India, and around life and culture in India in general. Dang. Another thing I'm grateful for!

TODAY--TAKE IMPERFECT ACTION! Try it! You'll like it!! Don't be afraid of imperfection. In fact, PERFECTION is NOT YOUR FRIEND! Perfection holds us back from creating the life we desire for ourselves! Notice all the places you're holding back because "things aren't quite right" and then DO IT ANYWAY!

NOW!! OUR SONG FOR THE WEEK! You're sooooooooooo going to love this! This song was suggested to me by my friend and past client, Julie Morley! THANK YOU, JULIE!

The video is so great and just give me all sorts of FEELS.

Surprise Yourself by Jack Garratt


Surprise Yourself

Speak and open up your mind
It's something you should do all the time
Keep exploring, seek and find
You know you might surprise yourself
Talk without a taint or hold
The doubts that should embrace your heart
The calm and chaos of your soul
You know you might surprise yourself

Take a pen and write this down
Draw something that can't be found
And learn to walk again somehow
You know you might surprise yourself


Love her if you only knew
The times that train has fooled me too
And tears me from a place I know
It helps me to surprise myself
You know you can surprise yourself
So let go and surprise yourself



If you find yourself overeating, eating when you're not hungry, never truly feeling full, trying to control what and when you eat, or any variation of these things then you are not alone. I have lived in that terrible space and it is frustrating, depressing, and exhausting. It inevitably makes you feel bad about yourself because you "have no willpower" or because you ate the "wrong" things...and other shaming things we say to ourselves.

Here's the thing. If you're an overeater, focusing on food will only make things worse. What I mean by "focusing on food" is thinking that what you eat and when you eat is the route to overcoming overeating. This is a super common thing that we do when we feel out of control with food. But when we make food the first thing we focus on--and try and control--we actually make things a whole lot worse.

Focusing on food is always about deprivation. If we're overeating, we shame ourselves and say things like, "Starting tomorrow, I'm cutting out all sugar and bread from my diet!" or "I'm going to eat all vegan starting tomorrow!" or some version of a NOT ALLOWED list. And almost IMMEDIATELY we get that funny feeling inside of fear and anxiety and desire to eat eat eat! Your mind is throwing a temper tantrum!! It's freaking out at the thought of deprivation!

So if focusing on food doesn't work, what does?

When we overeat, it is actually NEVER about the food. It is about some emotional need we are fulfilling. Overeating is the SYMPTOM not the problem!

Our body is always communicating with us--we just need to decipher what it is saying.

So what is the root of overeating? It's different for everybody. So often there is an underlying feeling of anxiety when we eat too much or eat when we aren't hungry. If you were able to slow down the moments before you reached for food (or more food)...if you could slow it down frame by frame like a movie...you would be able to examine the thoughts and feelings you had that lead you to food. You'll start to learn what CAUSED that anxiety to begin with. And that's the magic place!

Food is SO GOOD at making us feel better. That's why we use food to deal with our difficult emotions. But we all know that as much as it solves the problems of difficult of emotions, it creates a myriad of other problems for us! So ultimately, as effective as it is, we need to unearth the core reasons why it is happening and then deal with those reasons in healthier ways.

So your task is to start paying attention to your thoughts, words to yourself, and feelings prior to eating too much or eating when you're not hungry. Allow yourself to be surprised. Allow yourself to go deep. Don't be afraid--when you discover what it is (and there may be multiple things!) you are then EMPOWERED to do something about it! Get help with this if you're able to. I got help from my coach when I was dealing with this (story for another email but I'll tell you all about it, I promise!) and it was TRANSFORMATIONAL.

If you're ready to break free from the shackles of emotional eating (OMG it feels so good!) then email me and we can hop on the phone and have a 45 minute free mini-session! Zero attachment to outcome on my part...you'll leave the call with a much clearer understanding of what is going on with you and some actions to start transforming things. If you feel called to do the deeper work, we can talk about working together and if not, no problem! I love the opportunity to talk to my peeps and get to know them better.

Sending loads of love,


P.S. Reminder: Virtual Goddess Gathering this Saturday! More info and sign up here!

Don't Stop Me Now!

Hello, Gorgeous! How are you? HAPPY SUNDAY! I hope wherever you are there's just enough sunshine to make you smile today.

REMINDER: Virtual Goddess Gathering is HAPPENING and we are going to talk about LOVE. Mostly SELF LOVE and BODY LOVE because that is a THING IN THIS WORLD and people, I intend to do all I can to dismantle this current oppressive beauty and body image insanity and set us FREE! Next Gathering is on Saturday, February 24th at 10am PST. BUT--I am going to do one on a weekday evening, as well...still working on which date will work for that so stay tuned!

A major reason that loving our bodies and loving ourselves is so so important is because when we hate on our bodies (and ourselves because our body is us...not something separate from us) we do REALLY CRAZY MESSED UP THINGS with food. And with exercise. The biggest thing I see people doing is to "moralize" food. You've probably done it yourself because you're a human that lives on the planet. This food is "good". This food is "bad". When I eat "good" food, I'm GOOD. When I eat "bad" food, I feel shame and I spiral down a guilt rabbit hole that has me saying "fuck it" and eating all the food that makes me feel terrible about myself for days. It's a crazy cycle and I've seen it and personally lived it many times before.

It may be counterintuitive, but when we put moral judgment on food we immediately take ourselves out of a healthy mindset. Usually, almost immediately, we feel DEPRIVED even if we aren't hungry. Cravings kick in. We tell ourselves that WILL POWER is where it's at and when we don't have it we think we are lazy, awful, slothful, weak...and we spiral down again.

True food freedom actually comes when we don't moralize food. But that's kind of hard in a culture that bombards us with articles every which way around WHAT TO EAT and WHAT NOT TO EAT and NEVER EAT THIS and ALWAYS EAT THAT...it is crazy making.

Later this week I'm going to send an email that goes into more detail about why our food obsession is making us UNHEALTHY. So look out for that in your inbox!

Now--as you know (and for those of you new to my list and don't know) this is SOUL SONGSUNDAY! Today we are going OLD SCHOOL! CRANK THIS ONE UP AND ROCK INTO YOUR WEEK!





Don't Stop Me Now

Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world I'll turn it inside out - yeah
And floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time

I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me

I'm burnin' through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you


Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball
Don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop…





It is February! Dang--already in the second month of 2018! How are you feeling? I'm feeling good! I've asked a lot of my friends and colleagues if they feel differently heading into 2018 than they did heading into 2017 and down to a one, everyone says YES. I think 2017 just started off with a punch to the gut and it took us all year to catch our breath. Of course, there's a sh*tload of work to do, but when isn't there?

QUICK REMINDER: Sign up for the VIRTUAL GODDESS GATHERING! This is a monthly virtual event for women from all over the world creating community and supporting each other. This Gathering will operate around the ideas of feminism, social justice, women’s empowerment, spirituality (whatever your idea is of the bigger picture!), and living our lives more fully with the support of a community of like-minded women. January was our first event and it was INSPIRING, raw, and powerful. February's event is going to be about what else...LOVE! But you know I'm going to be talking about the starting point for all love: SELF LOVE. It's going to be good, so please sign up!

It's SOUL SONG SUNDAY, don't ya know...and along the lines of LOVING YOURSELF, Mary J. Blige wants to remind you that you're Just Fine! This song is going to make you feel SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD! (And soooooooooo FINE, of course!) If you've never paid attention to the lyrics on this one, now is the time (see below!).




Mary J. Blige SO FINE

You know I love music
And every time I hear something hot
It makes me wanna move
It makes me wanna have fun
But it's something about this joint right here
This joint right here
Its makes me wanna, wooh

Let it go
Can't let this thing called love get away from you
Feel free right now, going do what you want to do
Can't let nobody take it away, from you, from me, from we
No time for moping around, are you kidding
And no time for negative vibes, cause I'm winning
It's been a long week, I put in my hardest
Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right

So I like what I see when I'm looking at me
When I'm walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain't worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I ain't gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn't change my life, my life's just

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
You see I wouldn't change my life, my life's just fine

Feels so good, when you're doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
Keep your head up high
In yourself, believe in you, believe in me
Having a really good time, I'm not complaining
And I'm a still wear a smile if it raining
I got to enjoy myself regardless
I appreciate life, I'm so glad I got mine

So I like what I see when I'm looking at me
When I'm walking past the mirror
Aint worried about you and what you gonna do
I'm a lady so I must stay classy
Got to keep it hot, keep it together
If I want to get better
You see I wouldn't change my life, my life's just
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
You see I won't change my life, my life's just fine

I ain't gon' let nothing get in my way
(I ain't gone let nobody bring me down, no, no, no)
No matter what nobody has to say
(No way, no way, no way)
I ain't gon' let nothing get in my way
No matter what nobody has to say

Feels so good, when you're doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
It's a really good thing to say
That I won't change my life, my life's just fine

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
You see I won't change my life, my life's just fine

So I like what I see when I'm looking at me
When I'm walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain't worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I ain't gonna let you kill it
See I wouldn't change my life, my life's just

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh
You see I wouldn't change my life, my life's just fine



"I'm fat and ugly"

I think A LOT about the subject of us loving ourselves. I can honestly say that not a single day goes by when I don't think about it. There's a couple of reasons why. First and foremost, because it took me FOREVER to FINALLY LOVE MYSELF. Man. I spent way to many years walking around under the cloud of not being good enough, pretty enough, thin enough...not enough not enough not enough. ENOUGH ALREADY.

The other reason is that I hear women and men EVERY DAY talk shit about themselves as if it was the most normal thing in the world. And you know what? It is normal. Or maybe I should say, it's the norm.

Just some of the things I've heard:

  • "I'm disgusting."
  • "I hate my body."
  • "I'm repulsive."
  • "I can't stand myself."
  • "I'm a piece of human garbage."
  • "No one will ever love this grossness."

And many many more. I want to state that the above quotes are actual things I've heard people say--both strangers and people that I know and love. It is so heart-breaking to me. I wonder how many of you reading this are thinking, "That's not really any big deal. We all say stuff like that to ourselves. It motivates us."? Are you thinking this isn't a big deal? You might be. For me, it isn't that I didn't think it was a big deal but that I didn't really think about it at all because EVERYONE DID IT. I was the fish that didn't know I lived in water--it was all around me so I truly didn't know any different. But once you start noticing, you can't stop. And once you understand how deeply damaging this is to yourself and the life you want to live (I mean truly stepping into a powerful and juicy life that has you feeling ALIVE) then you'll understand what a big deal this truly is.

I've been there. I have countless journal entries where (no exaggeration) I've just written over and over again, "I'm fat and ugly, I'm fat and ugly..." It crushes me to think of that version of myself, lying in bed writing in her journal in so much pain.

It took me years to climb out of that deep, dark hole, and now I'm determined to pull others up behind me (and do it faster than I did!).

Why? So many reasons why. But one of the biggest is that WE NEED YOU. And when you are lying in bed thinking you're a piece of shit, or even if you're just walking around thinking good things won't happen until you lose 15 pounds, YOU ARE NOT BRINGING YOUR FULL GAME. And seriously--the world needs you to show up powerfully. I believe that all of us, deep inside, want to be in service to the world--make this a better place. We want to know we are making a difference even if it is just in our small corner...if you think that sounds cheesy then 1) yes, I agree, it sounds cheesy but 2) it's dead on. And 3) if you're denying that then you just aren't willing to own that part of you that wants to shine--to truly bring passion and purpose to your life. I get it. It's scary. It can feel daunting. But truthfully, avoiding that, dulling your passions, editing yourself in order to please others and not make waves...oooooooh! THAT IS EXHAUSTING!

So what I'm saying here is that THE FUTURE OF THE WORLD IS AT STAKE. That's how important learning to love yourself is!

This is February. It's the month we associate with love. I am declaring February the LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF month. Yes, it is f**king hard. And yes, it is totally worth it.

I know you have a lot of questions. The main question is HOW???? HOW DO I LOVE MYSELF??? The mantras don't work! Thinking positive only goes so far! And anyways, I truly am not good enough so come on! I'm not lovable!

I get it. I've been there. And I'm going to help you. This entire month I'm going to talk about this and get you on that path. Because THE TRUE YOU IS WAITING. It's ready to SHINE!

And since it is Soul Song Sunday, we are going to jam to some self love by the breathtaking India Arie. Put this song in your pocket and listen to it every day--it's going to start you down that road to LOVE of SELF.


India Arie VIDEO




Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend of how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's suppose to be
And I know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes, I'm loving what I see

I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be

Am I less of a lady if I don't wear panty hose
My momma said a lady ain't what she wears but what she knowsâ?¦
But I've drawn the conclusion, it's all an illusion
Confusion's the name of the game
A misconception, a mass deception,
Something gotta change

Now don't be offended this is all my opinion
Ain't nothing that I'm saying law
This is a true confession
Of a life learned lesson
I was sent here to share with y'all
So get in when you fit in
Go on and shine
Clear your mind
Now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
Cause everything's gonna be alright

I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be

Keep your fancy drink, and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive cars and your caviar
All I need is my guitar

Keep your crystal and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don't need you silicone, I prefer my own
What god gave me is just fine

I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be

When Things are Crappy


This is your Soul Song Sunday! Thank you to Jill Overland Rosenweig for sending this song to me! I had never heard of Walk the Earth and THEY ARE AWESOME!!

This is the kind of catchy, uplifting tune that will bring you out of your funk. I like to put it on repeat (only on my earbuds because otherwise I drive my husband crazy)! I love music that LIFTS ME UP!

The video is super cute, too :)


If you like this song, let me know!

And if you have a song to suggest for Soul Song Sunday, let me know!



HOLD ON by Walk the Earth

I never wanted it to break
I thought we'd put it all behind us
Ever since that day
All I wanna do is find us
Now I'm falling down
I'm falling down without you
So I'm calling out
I'm calling out to find you

You gotta hold on to what you got, babe
It ain't always greener on the other side
We ain't rich but we're worth a lot, babe
I wanna see the world with your hand in my hand, you know
Come on I'll love you like that
It ain't always greener on the other side
Come on I'll love you like that
I wanna see the world with your hand in my hand, you know

Even when I make mistakes
You would always bring me higher
We got caught up in our wings
Like the time we had the bonfire
There was no one else, no one else around you
So I'm calling out
I'm calling out to find you

You gotta hold on to what you got, babe
It ain't always greener on the other side
We ain't rich but we're worth a lot, babe
I wanna see the world with your hand in my hand, you know
Come on I'll love you like that
It ain't always greener on the other side
Come on I'll love you like that
I wanna see the world with your hand in my hand, you know
You gotta hold on to what you got, babe
You gotta hold on to what you got, babe

I didn't know just how much I loved you girl
Until you've hurt my heart and destroyed my world
When we're apart I'm a perm without a curl
'Cause ever since we started you've been an ocean to my pearl
You and I together 'till dove all protects us
Making much sense as a love between fascists
But we'll be long time rocking great nine classes
I know we'll be together till this life passes

You gotta hold on to what you got, babe
It ain't always greener on the other side
We ain't rich but we're worth a lot, babe
I wanna see the world again in my mind you know
Come on I'll love you like that
It ain't always greener on the other side
Come on I'll love you like that
I wanna see the world again in my mind you know
You gotta hold on to what you got, babe
It ain't always greener on the other side
We ain't rich but we're worth a lot, babe
I wanna see the world again in my mind you know
Come on I'll love you like that
It ain't always greener on the other side
Come on I'll love you like that
I wanna see the world again in my mind you know

I love you, love you, love you like that
And I watched you walk away
I love you, love you, love you like that
Never wanted it to break
I love you, love you, love you like that
And I watched you walk away
I love you, love you, love you like that
Never wanted it to break

I'm Obsessed with this Woman!

Happy Sunday! This is Soul Song Sunday! I'm so excited to share this with you!

Last week I stumbled across this woman--Nina Grae--and from the moment I started reading her website I knew she was something really unique in the world!

Her latest album is called, THE REMEDY and it's music is PRESCRIPTIVE! Meaning she has each song written to ease an ailment. For example (from her website):









*Side-effects may include hopefulness, forgiveness of self and others, expression and release of buried emotion, renewed sense of inner-strength.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT???? Each song on the album is a prescription for something :)

Music is so powerful--it has the power to shift your perspective, your mood, your story, your life. As my best friend, Lisa Skye's dad, Hank always said, "The music will set you free."

Today I'm going to share a song to get you pumped for STANDING UP and SPEAKING UP for what is RIGHT and GOOD. It is called, LEGACY. Check is out:



Legacy by Nina Grae

Are you looking to be entertained?
I don't know if I can help today.
Too many questions on my heart and on my brain
No I don’t want to just entertain you

Are you looking for distraction?
I mean if that’s your course of action
Don’t get me wrong there is a time and place for fun
But I ain’t looking to distract no one

Because there’s change brewing
No longer is it deep beneath the surface
The way this train’s moving
It’s forcing us to think about our purpose

I’m not scared to sing about revolution
My soul won’t rest until we find solution
It might take all day and night or the rest of our lives
But it’s worth a try

Because a few years our bodies return to the earth
Our bones and blood will become one with the dirt
And I don’t know about you but I want my moves to matter
So the young souls know that love is all we were after

What do you stand for?
What brings you to your knees?
What do you live for?
What are you dying to see?
What did you come here for?
And what will you leave?
When you’re gone what lives on as your legacy?

When you’re gone what lives on as your legacy?


I hope you feel INSPIRED and READY to get out there and be kind, be caring, look people in the eyes, smile, reach out, stand up, speak up...let's do this!

Love love love,


Soul Song Sunday

Happy Sunday, Gorgeous!

Yup. This is a new thing I'm doing!


I don't know about you, but music can really change my day around. It is powerful medicine for my psyche/spirit/soul/body/self--however you experience it!

So every Sunday I'm going to send you a Soul Song to LIFT YOU UP in the coming week!

If you have a song that inspires you, please feel free to share! I'd love to hear it!




GLORIOUS by MaMuse Lyrics:

Oh what a day! Glorious!
Gather ‘round
There’s nothing better
Than a friend
Oh what a day! Glorious!
The smell of rain
Has hitched a ride
Upon the wind
I’ve got good friends
To the left of me
And good friends
To my right
Got the open sky above me
And the earth beneath my feet
Got a feeling in my heart
That’s singin’
All in life is sweet
Oh what a day!
Oh, what a day! Glorious!
All the clouds
Have gathered round
The tops of trees
Oh what a day! Glorious!
Pitter patter
Fallin’ rain I can’t believe
All that’s green
Lifts up its leaves
Singin’ water come on in
We’ve been waiting all these days
Prayin’ you would come to quench
Every yearnin’ in our bones
Water, life with you begins
Oh what a day
Home is believing
Home has wings of faith
Home is a clear river
Of perceiving
All is well
This is a friendly mystery
Oh, what a day! Glorious!
Baby blue jay
Squawkin’ in the cherry tree
Oh, what a day! Glorious!
Deep in the night we had a raccoon robbery
Pitter patter little paws
Have left their footprints all around
Pitter patter evidence
Some fruit has fallen to the ground
Pitter patter sings my heart
At the thought of what’s to come
Oh, what a day!
Home is believing
Home has wings of faith
Home is a clear river of perceiving
All is well
This is a friendly mystery
All is well
This is a friendly mystery
Oh, what a day! Glorious!
Under the sky we slept last night
Just you and me
Oh, what a day! Glorious!
The waning moon
Our cycle is almost complete
We’ve got good friends to the left of us
And good friends to our right
Got the open sky above us
And the earth beneath our feet
Never fear-the birds are singin’
Even endings can be sweet
Oh, what a day!
Never fear--the birds are singin’
Even endings can be sweet
Oh, what a day!