What do you stand for

Why this is CRUCIAL to understand.

I'm feeling a bit fiery today, just a heads up!

Basically, I'm enraged, outraged, fed up, scared, sick to my stomach, overwhelmed, depressed, fired up...etc etc etc...about what is going on in the world today. I'm seriously pissed off. The topics that set my off are pretty vast. Treatment of people of color and minorities, the blatant homophobia and transphobia, the abasement of the environment, the selling of women and children into sexual slavery, the modern slave trade of men, women, and children, the inequity of justice of poor people vs. rich (white) people, the gross inequity of wealth, the culture of blame that just seems to be the norm right now (accept personal responsibility you a**holes!), the fact that people are put into prison for possession of drugs yet companies that swindle the American public and cause millions to lose all they've saved for their entire lives get government bailouts...and on and on and on.

If you've been reading my emails or doing my programs then there's one thing you know I believe in and that's that WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I really strongly believe that. We are not powerless. We are not just casual observers. WE ARE CRUCIAL to the health and well-being of this planet and all the lives on it. I don't think we have to be in a position of great power to make a difference (although I do believe those in positions of great power should absolutely use that power for good) but I do think we need to go out there and make an effort to make a difference. I've said this before but I believe our greatest super power is KINDNESS. People can just roll their eyes at me when I say that. To those people I say: pay attention. Pay attention to how you feel when people are kind vs. how you feel when people are rude. It is small. It is simple. But it makes a massive difference.

Now...here's the thing:

I believe women are being called to rise. I know in my bones that this is necessary and crucial to the healing of the planet.

In these past few years, we have witnessed the suppression, violation and abuse of the feminine. I understand that that suppression, violation and abuse has always been there but it is truly being brought to the light in such obvious ways that it has actually felt like an invitation to rise up and say NO MORE.

In order to rise up powerfully, you first need to understand the systemic ways you have been held back. When you begin dismantling these paradigms internally, it inevitably leads to the dismantling of the collectively, setting all women free. 

So to this end, I'm going to start doing Facebook Lives in my Virtual Goddess Gathering group on what these paradigms are and how we can dismantle them. They are subtle. You know about some of them but I promise you, you can't see most of them because they are the water we are swimming in.

The first class I'm going to teach is on the "You're Not Good Enough" paradigm. It's going to be good! You think you know but I'm telling you--you don't know the half of it! AND WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS HOLDING YOU BACK. IT'S HOLDING YOU DOWN. And it is DEPRIVING THE WORLD of your FULL POWER. This class will be on FB Live on Thursday, May 31st at 5:30pm PDT. I want you to be there live BUT if you can't be, the FB Live will stay up in the group and you can watch it later.

IT IS THAT IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF. The health of this planet and the inhabitants of it DEPEND ON YOU understanding these bullsh*t lies that we've all been living in as if they were Truth.

The world is literally dying for the Feminine.

TO THE MEN ON MY LIST: I know most of you and I am so grateful for you. I know you to be part of the solution. THANK YOU for being our allies. WE NEED YOU. I still want you on my list because the masculine and feminine being out of balance in this world affects all of us. It hurts men, too. I'll write more on that another day.

So--WOMEN!! If you're ready to start breaking free, please sign up for the Virtual Goddess Gathering and join the FB group. The link to the group is in the welcome email.

I told you I was fired up!

No song today. But send me your suggestions, please!

Love love love and HOPE FOR OUR FUTURE,

Elijah

 

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Motherhood...and all the in-betweens

First and foremost, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the moms out there.

I really honor motherhood and all that goes with it. Frankly, it's by far the hardest job I've ever had. I've struggled with it. I've had some really shitty times with it. I've shamed myself because I didn't always feel those blissed out totally sacrificing and selfless vibes that our society and culture tells us motherhood is. I've talked to so many moms and I can tell you--that is a mythology I think we need to stop perpetuating because it's very damaging. But that's another story for another day!

What I'm trying to say it--holy crap--you deserve to be honored because raising children, while so wonderful and rewarding (truthfully the most wonderful and rewarding thing I've ever done), is also exhausting, often thankless, and very much unpaid :) Happy Mother's Day you beautiful women. I see you and I gain strength from you.

To those of you who are not mothers but want to be: this can be an especially painful day. I am holding you with love. I feel the cruelty of wanting a child so badly and not yet having that dream come true yet. Whatever you need to do today in order to take care of yourself (massage, hike, Netflix binge, ice cream, tears...) please do that. I wish I could take your pain away.

To the children that have two dads (or one just one dad): I'm just thinking about those kiddos that go to school and are surrounded by all the cultural trappings of Mother's Day...the discussions, the art projects...sometimes school assemblies...all for Mom. To all you kids and all you dads: YOU ROCK. Celebrate however the heck you want! And that art project? Dad will still love it.

To mothers who have lost their children: no words, just deep unfathomable pain in my heart. I love you. I am so sorry.

To children who have lost their mothers: I have been told by someone close to me that lost her mom, that no matter how old you are when you lose your mom, it feels like you're an orphan. This has got to be a painful day. I can't imagine the hurt that comes up. Sending you so much love.

To those of you who had SHITTY moms: for those with toxic moms this can be the annual holiday of dread. I hope you're able to grieve and I hope you're able to be with people you love and who love you.

To mothers that cannot be with their children today because they areincarcerated: the vast majority of you are in prison for nonviolent drug charges --and most of those charges are brought on to you because the man you loved gave your name to police in exchange for a more lenient sentence. Your sentence is often outrageously harsh (IMO) and it takes you away from your children, which greatly affects their lives and the fabric of our society as well. To you mamas, and to your children I send love.

"Studies have shown that removing mothers from their children is not only traumatic but also a precursor to a host of psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, shame, and guilt. In recent years, researchers have found evidence that maintaining connections with incarcerated parents can help lessen some of these effects" (Link to quote here)

To mothers who were deported while their children were away at school: you couldn't even say goodbye. Or maybe your children were there to witness their mother being hauled away. For many of you this is the country you grew up in and you know nobody in your native country anymore. You're alone, scared, and have no idea what the future holds. You don't know when or if you'll see your children again. I close my eyes and imagine your fear and despondency and it is so painful. I cannot imagine. If you, dear reader, believe in creating a migration process that honors human dignity, please check out the Kino Border Initiative.

To those of you who do not wish to have children: I am so annoyed with you and on your behalf that other people think they have the right to tell you what to do with your body and your life. I personally do not believe that all people need to have children and I applaud those that are clear about this for themselves. I hope you celebrate yourself today as well!

______________________________________________________________________________________

I am blessed to have an absolutely incredibly mother whom I love and admire. I feel lucky. THANK YOU, Mom! I am who I am because of you.

I'm also blessed to be the mother of an incredible 7 year old. Thank you, Beck, for teaching me every day what it means to love fiercely.

Today I am going out to a kind of high end Mexican restaurant (high quality ingredients, sort of fancy) that also has some of the best margaritas in SF! Scott (hubby), Beck (son), M (nickname--my stepdaughter), and Erin (my sister) and I are all going out. I'm excited. Cheers!

Mother by Ashanti

Mother by Ashanti

I would never let a tear fall from your eyes,
Cause everyting you are to me,I could never let you hurt inside,
You mean so much and I'm so thankful that your in my life,
And I appreciate your love and all sacrifice,
Without you by my side,I never could survive,
I wouldn't be the woman standing here before your eyes,
You taught me strength and you gave me guidance,
Whenever faith was lost you were there to find it,
And all because a mother's love is unconditional,
With all my heart and all my soul I want let you know.


That I thank you and I love you and
I will never place anyone above you,
Said I thank you and I love you,
And I could never ever place no one above you
You have given me life and I just want you to know,
That your the reason im here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what im saying.

See I've been blessed to be raised by a woman so strong,
Cuz even when I did things wrong,
You would show me just the way that I should carry on.
You kept me safe and you protected me with all you had,
And everytime I was in need you gave your very las
Without you by my side, I never could survive,
I wouldn't be the woman standing here before your eyes.
You taught me strength and you gave me guidance whenever faith was lost you were there to find it.
And all because a mothers love is unconditional,
With all my heart and all my soul I wanna let you know.

That I thank you and I love you and
I will never place anyone above you,
Said I thank you and I love you,
And I never place no one above you
You have given me life and I just want you to know,
That your the reason im here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what I'm saying.

I remember waking up early Monday mornings,
With my new dress and my new shoes, with the buckles on em
And you would kiss my face and say I love you baby,
And you would be right there to take all of my fear away.
And when he broke my heart you said it was his lost,
And not to think about about your better off with out him.
Remember when they said that I was never gonna make it,
You said it Shows and all you gotta do is go and take it.


Said I thank you and I love you,
And I will never ever place no one above you.
Said I thank you and I love you,
And I will never ever place no one above you.
See you have given me life and I just want you to know,
That your the reason I'm here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what im saying. x2

Love to all of you!

Elijah

 

 

 

 

 

Women, Self Care, and Food.

Many people reached out to me a bit worried because I didn't write on Sunday. Thank you for your love :)

What happened was a mix of family craziness tossed in with travel combined to create a perfect storm of extra-busy plus a little overwhelm. And I decided it was okay to take care of myself first, which meant not writing the newsletter. It isn't that I'm not committed to reaching out--I'm SO COMMITTED. But my first commitment is to my self care. I've learned the hard way that if I don't honor my needs, things really go to hell in a hand basket quite quickly. And if I'm depleted, then I have nothing to give and my family, friends, and work and all will suffer.

Women, self care, and food. Women are incredibly hard on themselves. Our culture has carefully trained us to be this way. We are taught to believe our happiness is connected to the happiness of others. If our happiness is connected to the happiness of others that means we work tirelessly to take care of the needs of those around us and if we aren't doing this for even a moment, we feel GUILTY. Even the most aware among us fall prey to this guilt.

We work tirelessly for the happiness of others while posting social media memes declaring, "HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB" or similar sentiments. HA!

We post those memes and still don't recognize that our happiness is indeed connected to WHAT IS INSIDE US. What I mean by that is: OUR DREAMS, OUR DESIRES, OUR IDEAS, OUR PASSIONS. We are SO QUICK do dismiss our desires, dreams, and passions. That voice says, "Who am I to want that for myself?" or, "If I follow my dreams I'll be a terrible mom." or "I'll never know enough or be enough to follow that dream." or even worse, "I'm an idiot for even thinking about that!"

Guess what? When we are committed to the happiness of others and we deny our own brilliance, we live in a low level of apathy because "...none of it matters anyway." It keeps us in a place of not wanting more while simultaneously apologizing for wanting things.

When we give, give, give and go, go, go, we are depleted and we end up resentful. Because we feel guilty doing things for ourselves (and because, ultimately, we are not fully expressed as human beings) THE ONLY THING WE CAN RECEIVE FOR OURSELVES IS FOOD AND ALCOHOL.

We are so depleted, the only thing left are the Oreo cookies in the cupboard. The cookies are 100% there for us. They will ALWAYS fill us up. They never let us down. And, best of all, no one will fault us for eating them. They will, however, fault us for not being super thin (or even too thin--seriously, we cannot catch a break) but that's another topic for another email. The point is, EATING is about the only socially acceptable way women have of nourishing themselves!

No wonder we all have such disordered eating habits--disordered physical habits and mental habits, too. And this is yet another way that we are kept apathetic.Listen--this is political. All these stories we are told about what it means to be a "good" woman, mother, daughter, sister, friend in this world HOLD US BACK and KEEP US DOWN. And let there be no doubt--they are designed to do that.

Why? Because women are POWERFUL. I'm not saying we are more powerful than men and that men suck etc...if you're going there in your mind I invite you to simply stop thinking of others just for a moment and consider YOU. Consider YOUR LIFE. Your dreams, hopes, desires...and I mean the dreams and desires that you never even say allowed for fear you'll be judged.

Women are powerful and we have big dreams. We have big solutions to the problems we face. When we allow ourselves to be fully expressed, to own our power unapologetically, and to step into our dreams...WHOA. THE ENTIRE WORLD BENEFITS. Our families benefit. Our friends benefit. WE BENEFIT.

The fact that we feel guilty, the fact that we go, go, go without taking care of ourselves, the fact that really weird and crazy expectations on how we look, what we say, and what we do is something we have bought into is not our fault. It's not men's fault either. This system has been in place for thousands of years. We are the fish in the water--we don't even know we are in water because we don't know anything different.

To be clear, obviously many women and men know there's a different way. But even those men and women continue to understand the ways in which the current cultural paradigm has hurt us and holds us back in deeper ways. And, as you might be able to see, we are in the midst of a powerful cultural awakening in general. It is a very exciting time to be alive! But we all have stuff that we don't know that we don't know. Now is the time to learn a different way of being.

Where do we start? So many of us have not really taken the time to truly ask ourselves what it is we desire. It can be a scary question. It can also be challenging to answer because if we rarely ask it, that muscle is weak and we really aren't sure of the answers!

Here is an exercise for you to start working on this question. It's deceptively simple. I recommend using this as a journal prompt for 5 - 7 days in a row...just set a time and free-write what comes up for you every day. See how things change at the end of 7 days. Then keep up the practice as much as you'd like to--every day or once a week...trust yourself to know how often you need to do this.

EXERCISE: What are 5 things that you would like in your life?

Separate out what you would truly like from what you think is possible! Allowing yourself any feelings or emotions that arise out of the desires that you may have previously “failed at” or “succeeded at not having” for weeks, months or decades.

Exclude the things that you no longer want. You can still write them down, but just flip it so that you are replacing the unwanted state with what you would like to experience instead.

As always, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU! And I also invite you to join the Virtual Goddess Gathering, where like-minded women show up to support each other in creating change in their lives and the world.

Sending so much love your way,

ElijAH

The Year of the Woman

In the elections of 1992 something happened that had never happened before--four women were elected to the United States Senate. Senator Patty Murray (D-WA), Senator Carol Moseley Braun (D-IL), Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), and Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) joined Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) and Senator Nancy Kassebaum (R-KS) to bring the the total number of women United States Senators to six. (California also set the record of being the first state to ever have TWO female senators.) I remember this time so vividly. It was so exciting for me to witness SIX WOMEN in the US Senate! It felt quite tremendous, really!

Of course, looking back I think Mikulski really had it right, remarking that “Calling 1992 the ‘year of the woman’ makes it sound like the ‘year of the caribou’ or ‘year of the asparagus. We’re not a fad, a fancy, or a year.”

Today, in 2018, there are now twenty-two women senators in the US Senate and eighty-three women serving in the US House of Representatives and it definitely doesn't feel remarkable when we hear that a woman is running for the office of senator or representative anymore.

I've been thinking about The Year of the Woman a lot lately, and just how far we have come from that banner year. Of course--we have a long way to go, too. But everywhere I look I see women stepping into their power, showing up where once they were hiding, taking on the status quo and redefining success, power, support, inclusion and so much more. It's truly exciting!

March is International Women's Month...another reason why I've been thinking a lot about The Year of the Woman. I personally think women are da bomb and I believe, now more than ever, that we are being called to take our place at the table and create change in our communities in the world. Side note: LOVE this uplifting story of a group of women strangers making a difference at the airport.

Despite the headlines of 1992, I don't think we've actually experienced The Year of the Woman...yet. But it does feel like it's on the way! The tipping point is near!

In honor of women everywhere, let's blast this song from the rooftops.

Run the World (Girls) Beyoncé

 

Have a kickass week!

And give some props to the women out there making it all happen!

I'm Obsessed with this Woman!

Happy Sunday! This is Soul Song Sunday! I'm so excited to share this with you!

Last week I stumbled across this woman--Nina Grae--and from the moment I started reading her website I knew she was something really unique in the world!

Her latest album is called, THE REMEDY and it's music is PRESCRIPTIVE! Meaning she has each song written to ease an ailment. For example (from her website):

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS SUFFERING FROM:

  • HEARTBREAK

  • A BREAKUP OR

  • GENERAL LOVELESS-NESS

PLEASE LISTEN TO OR SEND AN INVITATION TO DOWNLOAD

PHONECALL*

PLAY AT LEAST 2X DAILY

ONCE IN THE MORNING AND ONCE BEFORE BED WITH CLOSED EYES AND AN OPEN HEART.

*Side-effects may include hopefulness, forgiveness of self and others, expression and release of buried emotion, renewed sense of inner-strength.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT???? Each song on the album is a prescription for something :)

Music is so powerful--it has the power to shift your perspective, your mood, your story, your life. As my best friend, Lisa Skye's dad, Hank always said, "The music will set you free."

Today I'm going to share a song to get you pumped for STANDING UP and SPEAKING UP for what is RIGHT and GOOD. It is called, LEGACY. Check is out:

 

 

Legacy by Nina Grae

Are you looking to be entertained?
I don't know if I can help today.
Too many questions on my heart and on my brain
No I don’t want to just entertain you

Are you looking for distraction?
I mean if that’s your course of action
Don’t get me wrong there is a time and place for fun
But I ain’t looking to distract no one

Because there’s change brewing
No longer is it deep beneath the surface
The way this train’s moving
It’s forcing us to think about our purpose

I’m not scared to sing about revolution
My soul won’t rest until we find solution
It might take all day and night or the rest of our lives
But it’s worth a try

Because a few years our bodies return to the earth
Our bones and blood will become one with the dirt
And I don’t know about you but I want my moves to matter
So the young souls know that love is all we were after

What do you stand for?
What brings you to your knees?
What do you live for?
What are you dying to see?
What did you come here for?
And what will you leave?
When you’re gone what lives on as your legacy?

When you’re gone what lives on as your legacy?

Repeat

I hope you feel INSPIRED and READY to get out there and be kind, be caring, look people in the eyes, smile, reach out, stand up, speak up...let's do this!

Love love love,

Elijah