Women's empowerment

Why this is CRUCIAL to understand.

I'm feeling a bit fiery today, just a heads up!

Basically, I'm enraged, outraged, fed up, scared, sick to my stomach, overwhelmed, depressed, fired up...etc etc etc...about what is going on in the world today. I'm seriously pissed off. The topics that set my off are pretty vast. Treatment of people of color and minorities, the blatant homophobia and transphobia, the abasement of the environment, the selling of women and children into sexual slavery, the modern slave trade of men, women, and children, the inequity of justice of poor people vs. rich (white) people, the gross inequity of wealth, the culture of blame that just seems to be the norm right now (accept personal responsibility you a**holes!), the fact that people are put into prison for possession of drugs yet companies that swindle the American public and cause millions to lose all they've saved for their entire lives get government bailouts...and on and on and on.

If you've been reading my emails or doing my programs then there's one thing you know I believe in and that's that WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I really strongly believe that. We are not powerless. We are not just casual observers. WE ARE CRUCIAL to the health and well-being of this planet and all the lives on it. I don't think we have to be in a position of great power to make a difference (although I do believe those in positions of great power should absolutely use that power for good) but I do think we need to go out there and make an effort to make a difference. I've said this before but I believe our greatest super power is KINDNESS. People can just roll their eyes at me when I say that. To those people I say: pay attention. Pay attention to how you feel when people are kind vs. how you feel when people are rude. It is small. It is simple. But it makes a massive difference.

Now...here's the thing:

I believe women are being called to rise. I know in my bones that this is necessary and crucial to the healing of the planet.

In these past few years, we have witnessed the suppression, violation and abuse of the feminine. I understand that that suppression, violation and abuse has always been there but it is truly being brought to the light in such obvious ways that it has actually felt like an invitation to rise up and say NO MORE.

In order to rise up powerfully, you first need to understand the systemic ways you have been held back. When you begin dismantling these paradigms internally, it inevitably leads to the dismantling of the collectively, setting all women free. 

So to this end, I'm going to start doing Facebook Lives in my Virtual Goddess Gathering group on what these paradigms are and how we can dismantle them. They are subtle. You know about some of them but I promise you, you can't see most of them because they are the water we are swimming in.

The first class I'm going to teach is on the "You're Not Good Enough" paradigm. It's going to be good! You think you know but I'm telling you--you don't know the half of it! AND WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS HOLDING YOU BACK. IT'S HOLDING YOU DOWN. And it is DEPRIVING THE WORLD of your FULL POWER. This class will be on FB Live on Thursday, May 31st at 5:30pm PDT. I want you to be there live BUT if you can't be, the FB Live will stay up in the group and you can watch it later.

IT IS THAT IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF. The health of this planet and the inhabitants of it DEPEND ON YOU understanding these bullsh*t lies that we've all been living in as if they were Truth.

The world is literally dying for the Feminine.

TO THE MEN ON MY LIST: I know most of you and I am so grateful for you. I know you to be part of the solution. THANK YOU for being our allies. WE NEED YOU. I still want you on my list because the masculine and feminine being out of balance in this world affects all of us. It hurts men, too. I'll write more on that another day.

So--WOMEN!! If you're ready to start breaking free, please sign up for the Virtual Goddess Gathering and join the FB group. The link to the group is in the welcome email.

I told you I was fired up!

No song today. But send me your suggestions, please!

Love love love and HOPE FOR OUR FUTURE,

Elijah

 

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Motherhood...and all the in-betweens

First and foremost, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the moms out there.

I really honor motherhood and all that goes with it. Frankly, it's by far the hardest job I've ever had. I've struggled with it. I've had some really shitty times with it. I've shamed myself because I didn't always feel those blissed out totally sacrificing and selfless vibes that our society and culture tells us motherhood is. I've talked to so many moms and I can tell you--that is a mythology I think we need to stop perpetuating because it's very damaging. But that's another story for another day!

What I'm trying to say it--holy crap--you deserve to be honored because raising children, while so wonderful and rewarding (truthfully the most wonderful and rewarding thing I've ever done), is also exhausting, often thankless, and very much unpaid :) Happy Mother's Day you beautiful women. I see you and I gain strength from you.

To those of you who are not mothers but want to be: this can be an especially painful day. I am holding you with love. I feel the cruelty of wanting a child so badly and not yet having that dream come true yet. Whatever you need to do today in order to take care of yourself (massage, hike, Netflix binge, ice cream, tears...) please do that. I wish I could take your pain away.

To the children that have two dads (or one just one dad): I'm just thinking about those kiddos that go to school and are surrounded by all the cultural trappings of Mother's Day...the discussions, the art projects...sometimes school assemblies...all for Mom. To all you kids and all you dads: YOU ROCK. Celebrate however the heck you want! And that art project? Dad will still love it.

To mothers who have lost their children: no words, just deep unfathomable pain in my heart. I love you. I am so sorry.

To children who have lost their mothers: I have been told by someone close to me that lost her mom, that no matter how old you are when you lose your mom, it feels like you're an orphan. This has got to be a painful day. I can't imagine the hurt that comes up. Sending you so much love.

To those of you who had SHITTY moms: for those with toxic moms this can be the annual holiday of dread. I hope you're able to grieve and I hope you're able to be with people you love and who love you.

To mothers that cannot be with their children today because they areincarcerated: the vast majority of you are in prison for nonviolent drug charges --and most of those charges are brought on to you because the man you loved gave your name to police in exchange for a more lenient sentence. Your sentence is often outrageously harsh (IMO) and it takes you away from your children, which greatly affects their lives and the fabric of our society as well. To you mamas, and to your children I send love.

"Studies have shown that removing mothers from their children is not only traumatic but also a precursor to a host of psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, shame, and guilt. In recent years, researchers have found evidence that maintaining connections with incarcerated parents can help lessen some of these effects" (Link to quote here)

To mothers who were deported while their children were away at school: you couldn't even say goodbye. Or maybe your children were there to witness their mother being hauled away. For many of you this is the country you grew up in and you know nobody in your native country anymore. You're alone, scared, and have no idea what the future holds. You don't know when or if you'll see your children again. I close my eyes and imagine your fear and despondency and it is so painful. I cannot imagine. If you, dear reader, believe in creating a migration process that honors human dignity, please check out the Kino Border Initiative.

To those of you who do not wish to have children: I am so annoyed with you and on your behalf that other people think they have the right to tell you what to do with your body and your life. I personally do not believe that all people need to have children and I applaud those that are clear about this for themselves. I hope you celebrate yourself today as well!

______________________________________________________________________________________

I am blessed to have an absolutely incredibly mother whom I love and admire. I feel lucky. THANK YOU, Mom! I am who I am because of you.

I'm also blessed to be the mother of an incredible 7 year old. Thank you, Beck, for teaching me every day what it means to love fiercely.

Today I am going out to a kind of high end Mexican restaurant (high quality ingredients, sort of fancy) that also has some of the best margaritas in SF! Scott (hubby), Beck (son), M (nickname--my stepdaughter), and Erin (my sister) and I are all going out. I'm excited. Cheers!

Mother by Ashanti

Mother by Ashanti

I would never let a tear fall from your eyes,
Cause everyting you are to me,I could never let you hurt inside,
You mean so much and I'm so thankful that your in my life,
And I appreciate your love and all sacrifice,
Without you by my side,I never could survive,
I wouldn't be the woman standing here before your eyes,
You taught me strength and you gave me guidance,
Whenever faith was lost you were there to find it,
And all because a mother's love is unconditional,
With all my heart and all my soul I want let you know.


That I thank you and I love you and
I will never place anyone above you,
Said I thank you and I love you,
And I could never ever place no one above you
You have given me life and I just want you to know,
That your the reason im here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what im saying.

See I've been blessed to be raised by a woman so strong,
Cuz even when I did things wrong,
You would show me just the way that I should carry on.
You kept me safe and you protected me with all you had,
And everytime I was in need you gave your very las
Without you by my side, I never could survive,
I wouldn't be the woman standing here before your eyes.
You taught me strength and you gave me guidance whenever faith was lost you were there to find it.
And all because a mothers love is unconditional,
With all my heart and all my soul I wanna let you know.

That I thank you and I love you and
I will never place anyone above you,
Said I thank you and I love you,
And I never place no one above you
You have given me life and I just want you to know,
That your the reason im here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what I'm saying.

I remember waking up early Monday mornings,
With my new dress and my new shoes, with the buckles on em
And you would kiss my face and say I love you baby,
And you would be right there to take all of my fear away.
And when he broke my heart you said it was his lost,
And not to think about about your better off with out him.
Remember when they said that I was never gonna make it,
You said it Shows and all you gotta do is go and take it.


Said I thank you and I love you,
And I will never ever place no one above you.
Said I thank you and I love you,
And I will never ever place no one above you.
See you have given me life and I just want you to know,
That your the reason I'm here today I will never let go,
To everything that we shared and nothing can compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you is what im saying. x2

Love to all of you!

Elijah

 

 

 

 

 

Women, Our Bodies, and Beauty

I was talking to a colleague the other day:

"Women don't want to feel beautiful. They just want to lose weight. My heart breaks every time I hear this. They only allow themselves to feel beautiful (briefly) if they are 'perfect'...but 'perfect' really never comes. Most days women just beat up on themselves."

I teach women HOW TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL. But I've literally had women tell me they'd just rather lose weight. I believe the world is dying for the Feminine right now. Women need to throw off the shackles of body and beauty image and take their rightful place at the table--to be IN THEIR POWER--not worrying about their thigh gap.

We are only operating at a fraction of our possibility.

My dear, beautiful women: the reason you don't feel good in your body is NOT because you don't have a beautiful body--it is because you've NEVER been taught HOW to feel good in your body. We women, almost from birth, have only been taught how to fee BAD in our bodies.

Do you get that? Do you get that the water you've been swimming in is poison to your sense of well-being? (And by the way, this is by design.)

Our bodies are a battle ground and we take on that battle ourselves. We subjugate ourselves. We beat our bodies into submission.

Transformation occurs when we see the paradigm we are living in for the abuse and oppression that it is and we reject it. We claim our bodies as our own. We recognize their magnificence and we recognize the years of abuse that we and society have heaped upon them. From this place we can learn to adore and appreciate our bodies. And from this place everything begins to shift: what we put into our bodies and what we put onto our bodies becomes an act of beauty, respect, and adoration. How we move is different. How we hold ourselves is different We are in tune with ourselves. We are embodied and no longer disconnected.

Women are good at love.

Love is the most radical act of all.

Start with yourself.

 

SOUL SONG SUNDAY. THIS IS POLITICAL. Watch this, listen to this, like it's your job.

Mary Lambert - Body Love (Part 1 & 2)

 

Mary Lambert - Body Love (Part 1 & 2) Lyrics

I know girls who are trying to fit into the social norm
Like squeezing in last year's prom dress
I know girls who are low rise, mac eye shadow, and binge drinking
I know girls that wonder if they're disaster and sexy enough to fit in
I know girls who are fleeing bombs from the mosques of their skin
Playing Russian roulette with death; it's never easy to accept that our bodies are fallible and flawed
But when do we draw the line?
When the knife hits the skin?
Isn't it the same thing as purging
Because we're so obsessed with death
Some women just have more guts than others

The funny thing is women like us don't shoot
We swallow pills, still wanting to be beautiful at the morgue
Still proceeding to put on make-up
Still hoping that the mortician finds us fuckable and attractive
We might as well be buried with our shoes and handbags and scarves, girls
We flirt with death every time we etch a new tally mark into our skin
I know how to split my wrists to reveal a battlefield too
But the time has come for us to reclaim our bodies

Our bodies deserve more than to be war-torn and collateral
Offering this fuckdom as a pathetic means to say,
"I only know how to exist when I am wanted."

Girls like us are hardly ever wanted, you know
We're used up and we're sad and drunk and
Perpetually waiting by the phone for someone to pick up and tell us that we did good
Well, you did good.

I know I am because I said, I am. [3x]
My body is home [2x]
I know I am because I said, I am. [3x]

Try this
Take your hands over your bumpy love body naked
And remember the first time you touched someone
With the sole purpose of learning all of them
Touched them because the light was pretty on them
And the dust in the sunlight danced the way your heart did
Touch yourself with a purpose
Your body is the most beautiful royal
Fathers and uncles are not claiming your knife anymore
Are not your razor, no
Put the sharpness back
Lay your hands flat and feel the surface of scarred skin
I once touched a tree with charred limbs
The stump was still breathing
But the tops were just ashy remains
I wonder what it's like to come back from that
Because sometimes I feel forest fires erupting from my wrists
And the smoke signals sent out are the most beautiful things I've ever seen

Love your body the way your mother loved your baby feet
And brother arm wrapping shoulders, and remember
This is important

You are worth more than who you fuck
You are worth more than a waistline
You are worth more than beer bottles displayed like drunken artifacts.
You are worth more than any naked body could proclaim in the shadows,
More than a man's whim or your father's mistake
You are no less valuable as a size 16 than a size 4
You are no less valuable as a 32a than a 36c
Your sexiness is defined by concentric circles within your wood
It is wisdom
You are a goddamn tree stump with leaves sprouting out
Reborn

Women, Self Care, and Food.

Many people reached out to me a bit worried because I didn't write on Sunday. Thank you for your love :)

What happened was a mix of family craziness tossed in with travel combined to create a perfect storm of extra-busy plus a little overwhelm. And I decided it was okay to take care of myself first, which meant not writing the newsletter. It isn't that I'm not committed to reaching out--I'm SO COMMITTED. But my first commitment is to my self care. I've learned the hard way that if I don't honor my needs, things really go to hell in a hand basket quite quickly. And if I'm depleted, then I have nothing to give and my family, friends, and work and all will suffer.

Women, self care, and food. Women are incredibly hard on themselves. Our culture has carefully trained us to be this way. We are taught to believe our happiness is connected to the happiness of others. If our happiness is connected to the happiness of others that means we work tirelessly to take care of the needs of those around us and if we aren't doing this for even a moment, we feel GUILTY. Even the most aware among us fall prey to this guilt.

We work tirelessly for the happiness of others while posting social media memes declaring, "HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB" or similar sentiments. HA!

We post those memes and still don't recognize that our happiness is indeed connected to WHAT IS INSIDE US. What I mean by that is: OUR DREAMS, OUR DESIRES, OUR IDEAS, OUR PASSIONS. We are SO QUICK do dismiss our desires, dreams, and passions. That voice says, "Who am I to want that for myself?" or, "If I follow my dreams I'll be a terrible mom." or "I'll never know enough or be enough to follow that dream." or even worse, "I'm an idiot for even thinking about that!"

Guess what? When we are committed to the happiness of others and we deny our own brilliance, we live in a low level of apathy because "...none of it matters anyway." It keeps us in a place of not wanting more while simultaneously apologizing for wanting things.

When we give, give, give and go, go, go, we are depleted and we end up resentful. Because we feel guilty doing things for ourselves (and because, ultimately, we are not fully expressed as human beings) THE ONLY THING WE CAN RECEIVE FOR OURSELVES IS FOOD AND ALCOHOL.

We are so depleted, the only thing left are the Oreo cookies in the cupboard. The cookies are 100% there for us. They will ALWAYS fill us up. They never let us down. And, best of all, no one will fault us for eating them. They will, however, fault us for not being super thin (or even too thin--seriously, we cannot catch a break) but that's another topic for another email. The point is, EATING is about the only socially acceptable way women have of nourishing themselves!

No wonder we all have such disordered eating habits--disordered physical habits and mental habits, too. And this is yet another way that we are kept apathetic.Listen--this is political. All these stories we are told about what it means to be a "good" woman, mother, daughter, sister, friend in this world HOLD US BACK and KEEP US DOWN. And let there be no doubt--they are designed to do that.

Why? Because women are POWERFUL. I'm not saying we are more powerful than men and that men suck etc...if you're going there in your mind I invite you to simply stop thinking of others just for a moment and consider YOU. Consider YOUR LIFE. Your dreams, hopes, desires...and I mean the dreams and desires that you never even say allowed for fear you'll be judged.

Women are powerful and we have big dreams. We have big solutions to the problems we face. When we allow ourselves to be fully expressed, to own our power unapologetically, and to step into our dreams...WHOA. THE ENTIRE WORLD BENEFITS. Our families benefit. Our friends benefit. WE BENEFIT.

The fact that we feel guilty, the fact that we go, go, go without taking care of ourselves, the fact that really weird and crazy expectations on how we look, what we say, and what we do is something we have bought into is not our fault. It's not men's fault either. This system has been in place for thousands of years. We are the fish in the water--we don't even know we are in water because we don't know anything different.

To be clear, obviously many women and men know there's a different way. But even those men and women continue to understand the ways in which the current cultural paradigm has hurt us and holds us back in deeper ways. And, as you might be able to see, we are in the midst of a powerful cultural awakening in general. It is a very exciting time to be alive! But we all have stuff that we don't know that we don't know. Now is the time to learn a different way of being.

Where do we start? So many of us have not really taken the time to truly ask ourselves what it is we desire. It can be a scary question. It can also be challenging to answer because if we rarely ask it, that muscle is weak and we really aren't sure of the answers!

Here is an exercise for you to start working on this question. It's deceptively simple. I recommend using this as a journal prompt for 5 - 7 days in a row...just set a time and free-write what comes up for you every day. See how things change at the end of 7 days. Then keep up the practice as much as you'd like to--every day or once a week...trust yourself to know how often you need to do this.

EXERCISE: What are 5 things that you would like in your life?

Separate out what you would truly like from what you think is possible! Allowing yourself any feelings or emotions that arise out of the desires that you may have previously “failed at” or “succeeded at not having” for weeks, months or decades.

Exclude the things that you no longer want. You can still write them down, but just flip it so that you are replacing the unwanted state with what you would like to experience instead.

As always, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU! And I also invite you to join the Virtual Goddess Gathering, where like-minded women show up to support each other in creating change in their lives and the world.

Sending so much love your way,

ElijAH

How Overeating Keeps You Safe

HAPPY SOUL SONG SUNDAY!

Quick question--are you clicking on the songs and letting them wash over you so that joy permeates your week? Just checking...because music truly does make a difference. Don't forget to send me suggestions for songs that will light our fire and get our week off to a good start!

Okay. Back to this overeating thing. There's so many aspects to food and how we treat it. Food is important, obviously. We need it to stay alive, unless you're abreatharian. Food is also family, celebration, togetherness, happiness, sadness, loneliness, memories, and so much more. But today I want to talk to you about one aspect of food that you may be experiencing without even knowing it: overeating to keep you safe.

Emotional eating almost without exception is overeating. We eat more than we need, we eat when we're not hungry, and we in general eat for reasons that have nothing to do with physical nourishment but everything to do with emotional nourishment. Unfortunately that "nourishment" usually means numbing out. We numb out so that we don't have to deal with emotions that are incredibly uncomfortable. Anxiety, sadness, stress, anger, misery, self-loathing, boredom...just to name a few.

When we overeat, the vast majority of us gain weight. When we gain weight, we tend to beat up on ourselves. We think we look bad. We think we're gross. We also think we're not good enough (because society has been feeding us a message that thin is best since we were born and even if we understand that there is just so much destructive BS in that point of view, it's pretty hard to escape it without some serious work. And BTW, we need to do that work and I'm going to take you there). When we think we're not good enough, we stop living our lives fully. We hide out. We wait...we wait to buy nice clothes, we wait to ask for a raise, we wait to go for our dream job, we wait to start looking for a romantic partner, we wait to have sex with out partner...we even wait to go on vacation because, you know, if we're not thin we're not allowed to go on vacation. Seriously. WE HIDE OUT.

Even if we do some of the things we want to, it is only after a cheerleading sesh from friends and family so that we can have the courage to go to that party, or whatever it is we want to do. The thing we want to do could be big or small, but it just comes with an extra layer of HARD when we're in that mindset.

So--we're all miserable with our weight gain (and I've had clients that feel this was even with just 5 extra pounds. It's never really about how we look and ALWAYS ABOUT HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES.) and we're HIDING OUT. On the surface it all seems so bad. But here's the thing. When we are HIDING OUT we are SAFE. There's a reason for everything. We don't have to try. EVERYTHING IS ON HOLD. I mean, what feels better than sitting at home, binging on Netflix and knowing that it doesn't matter because you look like crap and nothing good will come of heading out into the world. It's sooooooooo safe safe safe and cozy. That extra weight and corresponding self-criticism becomes such a lovely security blanket.

Guess what? When our subconscious/critter brain feels all safe and cozy, it is going to do all it can to KEEP US THERE! That's why when you set a goal for yourself, and you're walking towards that goal with confidence--probably even making progress--and all of a sudden you snap back into old patterns and are back where you started. Your subconscious/critter brain is all about survival. And staying at home, hiding out, eating popcorn/ice cream/cookies/whatever is soooooooo much safer than getting out there in the world, showing up powerfully and asking for a raise/going for your dream job/putting yourself on a dating app/buying clothes that might mean you get some attention...omg, no. That stuff is all really really scary because going for what we want is vulnerable.

In the week ahead, start noticing all the habits you have that keep you safe. In this context I mean behavior that essentially holds you back in your comfort zone (we applaud the part of us that knows how to keep us safe and out of danger). The big rule about this is you notice without judgement. Instead of judging yourself, GET CURIOUS. Curiosity is playful, fun, and nonjudgemental. Judging ourselves is not the way to go--that just has us eating more ice cream.

I'd truly love to hear from you about this--do you notice ways you sabotage yourself to keep yourself safe/hold you back from the juicy life you desire and deserve? It could be around food, which is such a common one, but it could be around other habits as well! Pay attention! Hit reply to this email and let me know!!

Now...for your song to get you into your groove for the week! We're going old school today to a woman that was a trailblazer, Lauryn Hill.

Definitely read the lyrics to this one--part call to activism, part existential inspiration. It's one of my all time favs.

Everything is Everything by Lauren Hill

 

 

Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

I wrote these words for everyone who struggles in their youth
Who won't accept deception, instead of what is truth
It seems we lose the game
Before we even start to play
Who made these rules? (Who made these rules?)
We're so confused (We're so confused)
Easily led astray
Let me tell ya that

Everything is everything
Everything is everything
After winter, must come spring
Everything is everything

I philosophy
Possibly speak tongues
Beat drum, Abyssinian, street Baptist
Rap this in fine linen, from the beginning
My practice extending across the atlas
I begat this
Flipping in the ghetto on a dirty mattress
You can't match this rapper slash actress
More powerful than two Cleopatras
Bomb graffiti on the tomb of Nefertiti
MCs ain't ready to take it to the Serengeti
My rhymes is heavy like the mind of sister Betty (Betty Shabazz)
L-Boogie spars with stars and constellations
Then came down for a little conversation
Adjacent to the king, fear no human being
Roll with cherubims to Nassau Coliseum
Now hear this mixture, where Hip Hop meets scripture
Develop a negative into a positive picture

Now everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

Sometimes it seems
We'll touch that dream
But things come slow or not at all
And the ones on top, won't make it stop
So convinced that they might fall
Let's love ourselves and we can't fail
To make a better situation
Tomorrow, our seeds will grow
All we need is dedication
Let me tell ya that

Everything is everything
Everything is everything
After winter, must come spring
Everything is everything

Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

The Year of the Woman

In the elections of 1992 something happened that had never happened before--four women were elected to the United States Senate. Senator Patty Murray (D-WA), Senator Carol Moseley Braun (D-IL), Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), and Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) joined Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) and Senator Nancy Kassebaum (R-KS) to bring the the total number of women United States Senators to six. (California also set the record of being the first state to ever have TWO female senators.) I remember this time so vividly. It was so exciting for me to witness SIX WOMEN in the US Senate! It felt quite tremendous, really!

Of course, looking back I think Mikulski really had it right, remarking that “Calling 1992 the ‘year of the woman’ makes it sound like the ‘year of the caribou’ or ‘year of the asparagus. We’re not a fad, a fancy, or a year.”

Today, in 2018, there are now twenty-two women senators in the US Senate and eighty-three women serving in the US House of Representatives and it definitely doesn't feel remarkable when we hear that a woman is running for the office of senator or representative anymore.

I've been thinking about The Year of the Woman a lot lately, and just how far we have come from that banner year. Of course--we have a long way to go, too. But everywhere I look I see women stepping into their power, showing up where once they were hiding, taking on the status quo and redefining success, power, support, inclusion and so much more. It's truly exciting!

March is International Women's Month...another reason why I've been thinking a lot about The Year of the Woman. I personally think women are da bomb and I believe, now more than ever, that we are being called to take our place at the table and create change in our communities in the world. Side note: LOVE this uplifting story of a group of women strangers making a difference at the airport.

Despite the headlines of 1992, I don't think we've actually experienced The Year of the Woman...yet. But it does feel like it's on the way! The tipping point is near!

In honor of women everywhere, let's blast this song from the rooftops.

Run the World (Girls) Beyoncé

 

Have a kickass week!

And give some props to the women out there making it all happen!

Taking Imperfect Action!

Have you ever messed up? And have you ever let the fear of messing up STOP YOU from doing things you want to do?

I think most of us have had those experiences at some point in our lives.

Well...I MESSED UP! I forgot to send my regular Soul Song Sunday email this morning! No Sunday wisdom from me, no inspirational song to lift your spirits and set the tone for the week ahead. Sad! When I realized I hadn't written or sent the email I felt such a tight constriction in my throat and a sinking in my stomach. I had a moment of, "I suck! Everyone is going to think I'm so lame! How could I have forgotten?!" Of course, the reality is that probably NO ONE noticed that the email wasn't delivered this morning! You all have busy lives! And giving myself that crappy inner talk was not helpful at all.

Happily that mood lasted less than a minute. I've become very good at walking myself through that negative hyperbole that can come up. My next thought was, "Obviously, the email will just go out later today." And then I thought, "How can I turn this into a positive?"

After my incredibly challenging year last year, I learned the life-changing lesson that when I find myself spiraling down into the negative that I need to STOP and start NOTICING WHAT IS GOING RIGHT. That was such a powerful turn-around for me. I would stop several times a day and just start naming all the things that are going RIGHT in my life...I have running water, I have hot water, I have indoor plumbing (I'm super into my indoor plumbing in general!) I have food in my refrigerator, I'm healthy, I have coffee, I have an iPhone, I have a chair that I can sit in and drink my coffee and text a friend on my iPhone...on and on. Seriously, within a week of starting that practice I was happier than I'd been in years. I kept it up and I really have created some different neural pathways in my brain of how I see the world. Our brains are SO SO COOL. We really can re-route how we experience life.

What is going RIGHT this morning: my son is healthy, I am healthy, my husband is on a plane headed home after being gone since Thursday (I always miss him terribly when he's gone), I have a roof over my head, I am safe, my child is safe, I have a delicious Americano that I made on my espresso machine that was a gift from my husband two years ago and is the gift that keeps on giving, I have amazing and dear friends, I have freedom, I can vote, I have access to medical care if I need it, my 2000 Toyota Camry still drives well even thought it has 194,000 miles on it and it is PAID FOR so I don't have a car payment!...and on and on and on...so really, life is AWE-SOME.

So I stopped freaking out about the newsletter and decided to take IMPERFECT ACTION. I wrote the email late and assumed it would reach everyone's inbox in the absolute perfect moment. :)

BTW--I think the reason I didn't get the newsletter done is that I had a wonderful time with friends at their home last night. Great food, great conversation, and great friendship. I was at the home of my friends, Bill and Sharon, which is this cool, quirky place in the Mission District. They are super interesting people. Bill is one of those humans that gets really interested in how things work and that shows up in all sorts of ways including cooking. He had jars of pickled green tomatoes and jars full of Meyer lemons in the process of getting pickled...he had crates of grapefruits (it was what he asked for for Christmas) and he was fresh squeezing grapefruits for us. In the garage he has an actual lathe. I could go on. And the other couple there are my friends, Manna and Arvind who are from India and they are warm and smart and funny and always good to be around. We had great conversations around Indian food and the differences in different regions of India, and around life and culture in India in general. Dang. Another thing I'm grateful for!

TODAY--TAKE IMPERFECT ACTION! Try it! You'll like it!! Don't be afraid of imperfection. In fact, PERFECTION is NOT YOUR FRIEND! Perfection holds us back from creating the life we desire for ourselves! Notice all the places you're holding back because "things aren't quite right" and then DO IT ANYWAY!

NOW!! OUR SONG FOR THE WEEK! You're sooooooooooo going to love this! This song was suggested to me by my friend and past client, Julie Morley! THANK YOU, JULIE!

The video is so great and just give me all sorts of FEELS.

Surprise Yourself by Jack Garratt

 

Surprise Yourself

Speak and open up your mind
It's something you should do all the time
Keep exploring, seek and find
You know you might surprise yourself
Talk without a taint or hold
The doubts that should embrace your heart
The calm and chaos of your soul
You know you might surprise yourself

Take a pen and write this down
Draw something that can't be found
And learn to walk again somehow
You know you might surprise yourself

 

Love her if you only knew
The times that train has fooled me too
And tears me from a place I know
It helps me to surprise myself
You know you can surprise yourself
So let go and surprise yourself

HAVE A FABULOUS WEEK!